Thursday, January 8, 2009

Gradually Changing

This blog used to be called "Happenings at the Lazy D Ranch". It was an appropriate title. I started this blog three years ago as a way for family and friends to keep in touch with what was going on in our home. Orchestrated by the Lord, it has become clear that the message of this blog has changed. Although I still try to give family updates, all posts continue to present a story of what happens to a family who goes through a major loss. Hopefully relaying to you, the reader, the hope that is found in the valley of the shadow of death.
"...Where Life is Simple and Deliberate" was also a part of the title. I have decided, for lack of a better idea, that we would call the blog "Simple and Deliberate". It looks really nice as the title...and I love it with the picture of the kids. But, there is another reason why those two words resonate with me...each describe how I would like for you to see our family.

Simple does not mean simplistic. Especially simplistic in thought. No, simple means to live simply. Not to be so overly concerned with the world and yet enjoy what the Lord has given us. I strive to live life simply. This might be why I like to have things so makes life simple. I like simple presentations of things. And, I am constantly working on simplifying my life which I have found clears my brain.

Deliberate just means living thoughtfully.
We try to think through the reasons why or why not before we make decisions. We continually try to be informed and learn what is needed to live deliberately.

As I reflect on this past year of my life I am amazed at how much change we have had to endure. Really, the loss of Eric was not just about his death but the death of our way of living. We have had to say good-bye to someone we loved dearly but we have also had to say good-bye to the life we loved as well. The changes you see on this blog are just a small reflection of the changes in my family.
You will also see the pictures of Eric disappear from this site soon. Please know that he has not disappeared from our heart or from our world. I am surrounded by kids who look like him and act like him. Personally, I learned so much from Eric and those lessons learned are continually being applied to my life. Eric will always be a big part of our family dynamics. He established the foundation for this family. I am not fooling around with that strong foundation but rather just remodeling a bit to fit the needs of our new family.

Eric and I used to say that building a family was a lot like building a house. Establish that firm foundation early on in your child's life. As you build the walls you continue to work hard to make sure the studs are straight and the headers and trusses are built correctly to handle the weight of the house. Sheet rock and plaster start making the house look unique. Each house has its own personality, its own look. It is the same with the family. Let's just say that I have re-modeled the proverbial house a bit.
Another step.


Laura in KY said...

Wow, Heather, I continue to be in awe of your wisdom and insight. The Lord is clearly guiding you as you walk this journey. You all remain in my prayers.

six2love said...

Man, Heather, I am blown away by how often what you are expressing is what we are going through. I should probably expect it. We're also saying goodbye to our former way of life. I think we're all having a hard time with this one. But, your faithful and steady gaze on Jesus is such a perfect example for me and others who have lost a spouse/co-parent. THANK YOU for your continued sharing of your life and God's great faithfulness. His mercies are new every morning, GREAT IS HIS FAITHFULNESS.


godlover said...

Your changes are good and well-timed. As sad as it is, your life has changed. Almost completely changed and it's no insult to Eric to reveal those changes but is rather a tribute to him that you are as strong a family as you are. I know he's proud of all of you, the way you've handled things. You made it through the roughest year of your life. You've carried the torch he lit but it's time to get a new torch. Simply said, you are not what you were. Not any more. But God does grace your life abundantly and it shows in everything you do. Simple and Deliberate, I like that too, and I love the picture of all of you facing a new direction. I have come to love you and your family over the past year, Heather, and I stand amazed at what God has done in your lives. And mine through you!! You have incredible insight and clarity of purpose. You stand firm in what you believe and I'm proud to say I "know" you. Keep writing and I'll keep reading. On a side note, I would love to see a really good picture of Brn Sugar. Because of the contrast in her coloring, her face is always in the dark. There's no problem with Lil'Cowboy most of the time, but I've yet to actually "see" Brn Sugar. Have you tried putting a spotlight on her and adjusting the contrast on your camera? I don't know if that will work but I would love to see her darling little face. Well, du-uh! I just happened to think that the problem could be on my end. Maybe MY contrast is set too high. But I don't know how to change or adjust the contrast on my end. Could you do me a favor, please, and if you see her just fine in the pictures, could you tell me how to adjust the contrast on my set up? I've just always assumed it was your problem. Until just now when it occurred to me that the problem might be on my end all along. Duh!!

I have another blogging friend (Ginny) who is adopting two boys from Liberia. In fact her husband is in Liberia right now trying to bring them home. It has been almost two years since they started the process of adoption. They have all the required paperwork but there seems to be a problem. He was supposed to have left for home Fri with both boys but there was a hangup of some kind. He has all the paperwork for the agency and has papers from a Liberian court validating the adoption so I don't know what the problem is. If I remember correctly, your two came from Liberia, didn't they? It must be a nightmare to get through all the legal requirements. And no one seems to be concerned with the kids' emotions and feelings. It's all red tape!! And I have still another blogging friend (Stacy) who is trying to adopt an older boy from Liberia. (And Jakin even lived with them over there for a full year but when they had to come back to the states he was not permitted to come back with them.) More paperwork!!! I hope they read your blog. They'll see that it is possible to adopt from that country. Stay in God's shadow as you live out your lives, Heather, and know you have touched many hearts and lives with your blog. I blog too but I've just taken a break until this spring or summer. I have to get some of my knitting out of the way before I can go back to blogging. Blogging requires time and attention; neither of which I have very much of these days so I thought a break would be good. I told everyone that if I'm not back with something new by June, then I've decided to discontinue my blog entirely. I only have so much free time. That's all that all of us have and since going back to knitting, I've just not had what is required to blog at the same time. Please let me know about the pictures of Brn Sugar. I really want to see her face. I can always see her teeth so I know she smiles a lot but I can't really see what she looks like because of the contrast between the light and the dark. Her face is always totally black.