Friday, February 6, 2009


I am learning the art of accepting help.
I have felt like I have been playing a game of Mercy lately. My "fingers" have been pushed back to their limit. I have been feeling the pain and finally yelled Mercy.
Crazy that it takes us so long to get to the point of giving in.

There is no way that one person can take on the responsibility of raising six children of different ages and different personalities. This one person has had to admit that it sometimes does take a village to raise a houseful of children. Thankfully I am surrounded by a village of godly people who seem to see where I need help before I see it myself.

I have no idea how to raise a son.
I am not even going to pretend that I understand what he is going through and so I am dependent on men in my life to help me with my oldest son. There are many men that speak into Goose's life and then there is Fletch. He has personally taken on Goose by starting two different book studies to help him through this difficult transition into manhood. Fletch has been a sounding board for my son and helps me work through problems with him.
There really isn't a better man for the job! Eric would be surprised and yet incredibly grateful to know that this friend has given so much of his time to making sure that Goose makes it.

I believe that the Lord brings people into our lives to help us on this journey. I am surrounded by people who have really tried to figure out what my needs might be and give a helping hand. Another person is lending a helping hand in an area that I feel incredibly inadequate. Jennifer S. and her family have taken on schooling Lil' Cowboy for me. This is the same family that kept us busy down in SoCal on the anniversary of Eric's death.

Many might wonder why I didn't put my children into school after Eric died. My kids have never been to a regular school. Can you imagine if they had to cope with the loss of their dad while trying to learn the ropes of a regular school situation? I really do believe that the lessons that they have learned over the past year are vital to their education. Learning to be the family we are today has been a long process (which continues). Books teach you one thing but life teaches many valuable lessons as well. I am thankful that I have had the ability to stay home with them and walk with them through it all.
Anyway, my four oldest children are all self-sufficient when it comes to their book studies. Boo is done with her work and Goose wraps up his this spring. Miss M is determined to get through high school early so that she can get into nursing school quickly and Daisy just plugs along with her studies. These guys are easy.
Lil' Cowboy is another story. He is eight and still struggles with reading. His brain had been starved for the first six years of his life and we are seeing the reprocutions of his malnutrition. It is just darn frustrating to teach him.
Jennifer had no idea that I had been praying that the Lord would help me in this area. I was at the end of my rope and could not see any progress. So, when she asked if they could teach him for me I quickly said "Yes, thank you!" In a sense, it was all about Mercy! At some point there is no need for pride; feeling like I must do this or I can do everything and I don't need any help. When the fingers are feelin' the pain you don't care about pride anymore. You just want....Mercy!
And, thanks to some incredible friends I am finding that mercy.


All 8 of Us said...

"All I have needed Thy hand has provided...You have always been faithful to me" These are the words that ran through my heart as I read your post. What mercy it is for Him to take care of a hidden need that was heavy on your heart.
I follow your posts regularly but rarely comment.
Your testimony has been an encouragement to me and i have referred 2 recently widowed friends to your blog as well.
Keep pressing in...

Molly said...

I've followed your blog since Eric died. Your faith walk is so encouraging! We're learning about mercy and swallowing our pride so others can help us as I've just been diagnosed with lung cancer (early stage, thankfully). It's a hard lesson, but a needed one. I, like you, can't do it all. Thank God for such a great support group you have! Your kitchen is absolutely beautiful! You have to be so proud of your accomplishment! Way to go, Heather!



Lazy D Ranch said...

Dear Molly,
God bless you as you travel down this new path that the Lord is taking you. I will pray that the Lord will completely heal your lungs. I will also pray that you will learn much from the trials that the Lord is surely going to carry you through.

Dave @ Home School Dad said...

Are the people who wondered why you didn't put your kids in school after your husband died, the same people or type of people who questioned why you chose to home school in the first place?

Amy and I were just discussing with the children what might happen if one of us were to pass away. We told them that we would do our best to continue home educating them.

My family will continue to pray for yours.