Friday, September 4, 2009

About Him



I am still amazed at the gift that Phil is in my life.
He is a blessing to both me and my kids.
I am completely convinced that our relationship was directed by the hand of God.
I know God ordains all things...there are just so many factors that have us both standing back
in wonder and awe at how He brought us together.

Some have questioned if this bachelor is really ready to take on six children.
I believe that not only did God preserve Phil for me but that He has uniquely enabled him
and prepared him for this task.
Phil goes into this new phase of life knowing full well the duty that he will be given.
He has been given a great amount of wisdom especially for someone who has never raised children. But, a part of his good character is that he is very purposeful. For years he has "hung out" with his closest friends who have three children. Weekly he would have dinner with them and join them in the family worship. He knew that he would have a family someday and was preparing even then by observing their family.
His parents have been a foster family for years and he has two black foster brothers that he has had developed relationships with. He has observed his parents raise these guys and has watched his sisters raise their children as well.
I have been so impressed with his insight into my children (soon to be our children!). He has helped me come up with creative ways of discipling the kiddos. He has taken the time to get to know each child and know their interests. He has done a great job of wooing my children.
Brown Sugar every morning asks me "Are you going to marry Mr. Phil?" I answer yes and then she replies "He's going to be my daddy!". Picture her giggling with a big smile on her face.

While I was on my trip across the U.S. I was able to meet some friends of Phil's. They used to live out in the San Fransisco area and he was Phil's Elder at one time. When we talked about the relationship that Phil and I were developing he had some great insight. He said that many young single men float from church to church and very rarely establish concrete, long lasting relationships with people. He said that Phil has not been like this. He has chosen to keep up his friendships and seek out those who would challenge him in his life.
In fact, these particular friends had been friends with him for many, many years.
This loyalty and commitment to long lasting relationships shows great character. And, those that have known him a long time have only great things to say about this man.

We have so much in common! I have never met someone that is so much like me! I believe that this is a gift. We feel like we are kindred spirits and quite bonded to each other already. Having similar tastes and ideals means that meshing our lives together will be much easier which will give us the ability to work together on creating a new family out of an existing family.
The friendship that has been created was so easy! It really is a God thing.

One of the things that intrigued me about Phil was that as I got to know him I realized that he fulfilled all of those things I was looking for in a man...praying for in a man.
He is intelligent...much smarter than I am. I learn so much from him and enjoy our conversations. He is not intimidated if I know more than him in a certain subject. He enjoys me asking questions and even allows me to "think out loud" even if my hypothysis sounds a little off. I appreciate his love for the English language....I even like it when he corrects me because he does it gently and I get the chance to learn.

He is Reformed in his theology. I could rattle off all the specifics of our theology and what we, in particular, believe but that is really unnecessary. It is just amazing to have a man in my life that 100% believes the way I do. This was important as I said in an earlier post. I have very specific theological beliefs that I have developed after many years of reading God's Word and listening to the teaching of many godly men. I just knew that it would be better for me to stay single than settle for a husband who did not believe the same. I think as we began to talk we realized how special and unusual this connection was.

He is fun loving and knows how to relax. He makes me laugh...constantly. I love to laugh and so this really is a great combination. He does the most incredible Jimmy Stewart impression. It gets me every time!
We have spent many a Saturday playing out in the pool with the kids. We have walked to the park and thrown frisbees, kicked around a soccer ball, and he taught me how to hit a baseball. He loves to joke around with the kids which has helped develop those relationships.
A part of the fun loving personality is a desire to entertain and be hospitible. Opening up our home has always been a major part of my life and I feel it is a mandate in Scripture. So, to find someone who feels the same and has an easy time communicating and fellowshipping is such a plus.

He desires to take on the spiritual leading role in our family. He understands and appreciates my desire to be led in this way. He has thought through how he wants to catechise his children and lead them daily to the Word in family worship and in discipleship. He loves singing the Psalms and appreciates my ability to play the piano. We have spent many weekend evenings sitting at the piano singing together with the kids. I have told Phil many times that even if the only thing we had between us was his desire to lead us spiritually, that would be the greatest reason to get married. But, we have an incredible friendship, love for each other, and we are physically attracted to one another as well. What a gift!

I find myself overwhelmed at God's goodness and faithfulness to me when I talk about Phil. In my own strength I would have not picked out someone so perfect for me. He and I both kNow that he is a sinner saved by Grace. We both know that he has areas to work on as much as I do. But, we pray for each other and ask the Lord to work in and through us to make us more like Him.

I might have to write more about him later! I could go on and on...
This blog will be quiet for a week as we head off to our church's annual family camp.

When I get back I'll share some photos from my night out with my bridesmaids finding the perfect dress and also write about what I believe is the reason for marriage.
~Heather

11 comments:

not2brightGRAM said...

Heather, I won't steal your thunder, but just want to say that Rick and I have had a similar experience. God is the ultimate BEST match maker, and I rejoiced with you as I read this! The challenges *will* come, but remembering that it was God that brought you together will give you the fuel to get through the hard times. Enjoy the ride!

Anonymous said...

Praising God for His work in your life. I love that you share your story how the LORD brought you together, I know I always wonder how God brings people together. Thank-you for sharing your testimoney to encourage me in my journey as a widow.

Nan said...

It always makes me grin when you talk about my big brother in this way. :^D All of the ladies of his family rejoice in the woman you are and how perfectly suited you and Phil are for each other.

Vikki said...

You, ma'am, sound like a giddy school girl.... and I love it!!! I am so very, very happy for you and your family. :)

Anonymous said...

My daughter and I have been reading your blog since before Eric died. I can't begin to tell you how tremendously happy we are for you. It is really neat to watch God work! So important for our daughter as she is 16 and looking at and not wanting to participate in finding a mate. I think it is so great that you are sharing the importance of the courtship relationship. God Bless You and keep you near to HIM

Crayl said...

I, like the commenter above me, have been reading your blog for a long time. I am overjoyed for you! I smile while I read, I can feel your joy! What a wonderful blessing! And I am happy to hear your realistic take on it. There will be stuff to get through, but you have the essentials to get through right!
Yay God!

Alesha said...

so delighted to hear your story!

when God does a thing, He does it WELL!!! : )

Alesha

Tracy M. said...

Phil sounds like a wonderful match for you Heather! I wish you both love, happiness and laughter for many, many years to come!

Perkfamily said...

Heather,
This is Debra who visited the Fletchers and your church this weekend. Thank you for being so kind, warm and welcoming. I am praising God for His grace in your life and Phil's. I will continue to keep your family in my prayers:)

Love you
Debra

Mountain Mama said...

God is so good! It has been a blessing to have "walked" this journey with you via blog. I remember your past posts and your cries to God and thinking it would be an impossible task for God to provide the Godly man you and your family needed. Voila! Nothing is impossible with God.
Thanks for sharing your heart and story with us - the blogging world.
blessings,
ashley

The Herd said...

Heather,
I remember learning of your blog a couple years ago. I have not been on your blog in a while--we have been living in Russia for a year and I had lost many favorite blogs over time. So, the other day, I was wondering how you were and couldn't for the life of me remember your blog name, but then some of the title came to mind. So, today I hopped on and found you again! And you are ENGAGED!!! How exciting! I am so happy for you and your family!!!