Two weeks after our last bio child was born (Daisy) we chose to have a vascectomy. I remember crying all the way home after dropping Hubbie off at the Doctor's office. I was mourning the passing of another "phase" of life. But, I continued to try and convince myself that I should not have any more children. It was absurd to continue to have children when I was a basket case, we had very little money, and the rest of our friends were happily done with bearing children. I should be also. I should be enjoying this new phase of life and stop being so discontent. These were my thoughts.
As the Lord brought people into our lives that saw children as a blessing and not just something that you produce as a married couple, I began to mourn our decision. The next seven years were miserable. Every month I went through a rollercoaster of emotions as I hoped and prayed that God would supernaturally reverse what we had put into place.