Tuesday, March 25, 2008

He Provides

Eric and I were both touchy, feely type people which made for a wonderful intimate relationship. We loved to hold hands and Eric always had his arm around me in public. For the longest time we were teased by fellow congregates for the kiss that Eric always gave me at the end of the service. In private our bond was deep. We had become one.

This week will make eight weeks since I have been held by my beloved. I will admit that this new life is a bit lonely. I long for his touch and hope someday the Lord will allow me to enjoy a sweet intimacy with another man. But, in the meantime, I have trusted God's Word that He will provide for my needs as a widow. So, I just automatically believe that God will supply my intimate needs as well. He has protected me so far and kept my mind from
wandering where it should not which I am truly amazed by.

Whew! This is not an easy subject to write about but I am almost positive that the majority of you out there are wondering how you make it without intimacy for long periods of time. As many of my closest friends know this is truly a miracle that God is performing in my life right now. I am a bit fearful about what the future holds and how long I will have to go without a man's touch but in the same breathe I pray that the Lord will show me His mercy in the future
as He is doing right now.
~Lazyd

11 comments:

Mrs. Klause said...

Dearest Mrs. Davis,
My heart hurts deeply for you. I stumbled across your blog just prior to the death of your husband and I have visited since.

I have been married just over 15 years and have thought through the probability that I will outlive my husband. We ladies sometimes get carried away in thinking things through sometimes. ;0)

Your words have touched my heart in many ways over the last weeks as I have followed your journey. However your post today means a great deal. Intimacy within our marriages is a "balm". It soothes us; it heals us; it carries us through when words are not there or when words fail us... I am thankful that you have brought up the point of intimacy. It brings forth a deeper reliance on the Lord.

I pray for you and your family. I am thankful for what the Lord is teaching me through your sufferings. :0(

God is good. God's timing is perfect. God's ways are always best. But you know all these things already... I am so very sorry and my heart hurts for your loss. Thank you for sharing with the rest of the world. Thank you for laying your heart open so that one day, if the Lord takes my beloved before me, I might have gained wisdom and counsel and understanding from a godly woman that has walked this path before me.

Respectfully & sincerely,
Mrs. Klause
www.clothedwithscarlet.typepad.com

countrymomtx said...

Oh Heather, I truly hurt for you and thank you for sharing with us this very personal side of your grief. You are so beautiful inside and out . Your post about the children was so helpful to know how to pray. Brown Sugar is especially on my heart and her discipline issues. We adopted 3 siblings 3 years ago who are now 6,6,and 5, and have dealt with many behavior issues.My prayers continue to go up for you and that God will meet your every need.

AmyR said...

You are one the strongest and most courageous woman I've ever "met" and I pray for you and your family. Thank you for sharing this, and know that the Lord will honor the desires of your heart, in his way.

Erin said...

May the Lord touch your heart deeply tonight...praying for you right now...

Laurie said...

This post really touches my heart in a deep way. My husband and I are approaching our 40th Anniversary this August and he is my "right side" and I am his "left side". We know eachothers thoughts, finish eachothers sentences, we've grown up together through some very hard times and we complete eachother. It just feels so right. My heart aches for you as your time was cut short. I know it was Gods timing, but it has left you in pain. I ask the Lord to be your intimate partner right now during this time. I realize that your walk now may well be my walk someday and I don't want to let a day slip by without letting my man know how much he means to my life. This is such an important point to bring up, and I am praying for your heart to be filled by Him.

Love, Laurie in So. Ca.

As One Voice said...

Dear Heather ~

My heart goes out to you in this dark and stormy time of life. I can only imagine the darkness and depth of what you are going through. Certainly it is discouraging and weary to have a constant blanket of "gray clouds" hovering each day. Your mindset and heart during this time is such a testimony to God's gracious work on your behalf.

Not long ago, during family worship, we read the following verse. When I was praying for you this morning, it came to mind.

Psalm 97:1-2 "The LORD reigns, let the earth rejoice; let the many coast lands be glad! Clouds and thick darkness are all around him; righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne."

It struck me that He does not always dispel the darkness and clouds, but instead He resides in them and, through out life, we are often called to walk with Him there.

May the Lord bless you with continued strength, comfort and purity of heart in this most challenging time.

Walking by grace alone ~ Diana

Donna Barber said...

HI Laurie
I just wanted to let you know that I am still thinking of you and keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.

My husband Brian has recently started a new job which required him to move about 3 hours away. We see him on the weekends. After 21yrs of marriage; it is tough to be the only parent especially during times of discipline. I know that as moms we tend to do alot of the parenting because we are in the home and our husbands are not. So I am appreciate of you sharing your private times with us.

Sonja said...

I know that your truthfulness and openness touches the hearts of many. I can only think of the verse that tells us how we will be able to comfort others through the experiences of our own trials.

Love, Sonja

godlover said...

Thank you for reminding me to cherish my husband and thank God for him every day. It's so easy to forget. God is faithful, Heather, He will provide for all your needs and you will be well cared for by friends and family. I wish I could say more.

In Christ's love,
Marj - Calaveras CO
http://gdlvr.blogspot.com

S & C & C's Gram said...

When I was unexpectedly single-again for four years in my early forties, one thing I did was made it a habit to NEVER watch romantic movies. I didn't know if the Lord would ever allow me to remarry, and intimacy was one area I found very difficult to let go (by His grace I did, though). I didn't need to let my imagination be stirred...

I am now happily remarried and we love to cuddle on the couch and watch romantic movies together!

Zeke said...

Heather,

What a perfect picture of Jesus your marriage was! Your words continue to bless me and touch me in ways that make me want to grow closer to God, that I may be able to bring glory to His name in my marriage. Thank you so much for sharing. I continue to pray for you and yours. I Love You!

-Gretna