Tuesday, April 15, 2008

His Strength is Perfect

Every morning when I wake up there is a moment or two that I have no concerns, no sadness, no worries. Then I realize that the past eleven weeks has not been a dream but reality.
At this point in my grieving I find that about every other day I can shake off the feeling of dread and get some things accomplished around the house. I even feel rather hopeful and positive about the future. Then there are the days inbetween where I just don't seem to be able to get out of bed. It's not a hopelessness that keeps me there but rather a sadness that engulfs me.
If I were to stand on the outside looking in I would have to imagine that a relationship of twenty-two years is going to leave a mark on the person who is left behind. Standing on the inside looking out I am finally able to see that this truly is a remarkable path that the Lord has placed before me. This is no ordinary thing that has happened so I must admit I am amazed that I even have good days.
I was having a conversation with Goose, my 17 year old son about his dad's death and the impact on our family. He kept saying that he did not understand why God would take his dad away and why God was asking him to grow up so fast. In fact, he just plain said he could not do it...become a man so soon and take on such big responsibilities. The words that I gave him were from my heart. They are what I eat, drink, and breath right now...when I am weak, HE is strong. There are no mistakes in God's economy. He didn't just wake up one day and say "Oh my, Eric died. Now how did that happen?" Instead He ordained the days of Eric's life before the foundation of the world. He knew that I would be a widow at the age of 40. He knew that Goose would be fatherless at the age of 17. He knew that we would learn valuable lessons that would draw us closer as a family and closer to Him. How could we ask for anything more? But, we do. Every single one of us in the Davis household has asked why. David asked why and yet in the next breath he praised the God of the universe.
His strength is perfect when our strength is gone
He'll carry us when we can't carry on
Raised in His power the weak become strong
His strength is perfect, His strength is perfect
It is His power that we lean on each and every day. On the bad days His strength is perfect as I find myself weakened by grief forcing myself to read the Word and to thank God for the many blessing He has given me. On the good days it is His strength that enables me to accomplish so much.
If there is one lesson learned well during this time it will have been that He is faithful to be my strength when I lean on Him.
~Lazyd
His Strength is Perfect was written by Steven Curtis Chapman

7 comments:

Rachel Marie said...

I continue to think of you and pray for you and your precious children often. Even in your grief you are an amazing example of faithfulness.

Mountain Mama said...

YES! His strength is Perfect. Hang on to that truth.

I pray that you will find perfect peace and understanding through your sadness and grief. You are a strong woman/mommy in Him. Keep your eyes on Jesus.
ashley

Kenj said...

Tell N that we have great faith in his ability to handle whatever God has put on his plate, because He will equip him perfectly.

Also tell him we'll miss him and to have a GREAT time!

Kenj, for all of the Fletchers

sheep wanderer said...

Continuing to pray.

Liz

godlover said...

I wrote pages in my prayer journal about you and your family last night as I did the night before and the night before that. I ask for our great and wondrous to lead you down the path of healing. And may He hold you in the circle of His arms and give you the strength you need to make it through just one more day or hour or minute because He will do that for you. He already is!

Marj
Calaveras County CA
http:gdlvr.blogspot.com

godlover said...

I wrote pages in my prayer journal about you and your family last night as I did the night before and the night before that. I ask for our great and wondrous God to lead you down the path of healing. And may He hold you in the circle of His arms and give you the strength you need to make it through just one more day or hour or minute because He will do that for you. He already is!

Marj
Calaveras County CA
http:gdlvr.blogspot.com

Beth said...

I contine to pray for you and your family. May God continue to give you the stregth and comfort that you need. You are such an example!