After so many hard days of grieving in the past couple of weeks I am very happy to announce that today was a good day.
It helped that the weather was absolutely beautiful. No more nasty haze from the fires and the breeze made it feel like fall had already arrived. We opened the windows and enjoyed the fresh air.
I was given a big bucket of ripe roma tomatoes which I promptly put into a water bath. After Brown Sugar and I took the skins off of the red beauties we added them to a pot of sauteed onions, garlic, merlot, and spices. The aroma was enticing. That truly was one of the first times that I had actually cooked since Eric had died. I love to cook but find it emotionally exhausting at this time. Cooking was not a duty for me but rather a pleasure. I can't say that I enjoyed it today but I took a huge step down the path of grief.
The kids and I also accomplished much more cleaning today then we have in the past few months. It felt good to have a day where we were all home working together. We have much more to accomplish.
One of the ways that I am working through my grief is to allow myself to cry. But, that just does not seem to be enough. I go to the chiropractor three days a week which helps reduce the strain on my neck and shoulders but I had to go the extra step. I had a deep muscle massage today to help relieve the stress on my body. I can't say it felt good. It hurt. It hurt bad. I will have quite a few of these over the next couple of months to work out the knots in my muscles.
I am humbled by the comments that have been left by those who are just beginning to find my blog and read the story of my life over the last six months. I am humbled by the way the Lord is using this blog to help others love deeply and live life to its fullest. Thank you for passing this blog onto your friends. To God be all the glory.
~Lazyd
10 comments:
Thank you for the update. I'm so glad that today was a good day for you. I will continue to pray for you and your family.
Also, it was so nice to get to finally meet you at the homeschool encouragement day!
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Mary Beth
Hi Heather, I have not commented in a long time but have kept up with your blog since shortly after Eric went to heaven and the announcement was made on another blog. I have continued to pray for you and your family and have been so blessed to be a bystander watching how God is holding you up through this journey. There is joy to come and many more good days to come! God bless you and your family.
So glad today was a good day and I pray that you have many, many more. I prayed tonight that God would hear the ache you all feel and that you would stay strong as a family in your sense of togetherness. I prayed also that that beautiful little girl, Brown Sugar, would be submissive unto you and your instruction. That she get over her tantrums and give in to a life surrendered to God's will in all things. I know she is too young to think of any surrender other than a surrender of your care over her. And that is what I prayed for her for tonight. Your blog has taught me so much about trusting God in all things. In the bad times as well as when things are going right.
I hope you have more good days than bad from here on out. I will continue to pray for you every night.
Marj
htpp://gdlvr.blogspot.com
I have wanted to leave a comment for a long time now, but never felt the time was right. Someone posted on their blog about your family and I have been reading and praying ever since. I want you know that the Lord has used you in my life in amazing ways. He has used you to strengthen my faith, live more abundantly, to teach me that I should never take one moment with my husband for granted, to pursue the Lord with passion because He is worthy. That is truly a "short list" of all He as taught me as I have followed your story all these months. I have watched His grace in your life as you have continued to look to Him and praise Him in the midst of this trial. I see the Lord strengthening you and keeping you, and I am confident He will continue to do so until the end. Thank you for being open about your joys and struggles. I am just one of the many that have been convicted and encouraged by your story.
In Christ Alone
Melissa
Hello!
I just found your blog earlier today (through Joy P., who was at the Presbytery meeting in IL). I've spent over an hour reading through your posts, learning about your family, and, of course, the trials you've gone through this past year. All I can say is "Wow!" I know it probably sounds weird to have people tell you this, but your faith amazes and convicts me! I know you probably have moments of doubt and despair, but just seeing how your family has pulled through this so far, is just amazing, and very inspiring. You've encouraged me to live more for Him...thank you so much for sharing your journey!! :)
I'll be praying for you and your family in the days ahead!!
Love in NC,
HannahBeth
I've been reading for several months. Even before your husband went home to Jesus. I pray for you often.
I'm glad you had a good and productive day.
Love in Christ,
Janet
I continue to think and pray for your family often as well. Your blog is one that always brings me hope and your honesty is such a blessing. I pray that the Lord will continue to nurture and feed you through the good days and bad days. Thank you for your willingness to share your heart through this blog you are a blessing!!
In Christ,
Tiffany
Dear Heather,
I found your blog shortly after Eric went home, through a First B prayer list on which I'm still active.
Through all the years we've lost contact, I've never stopped praying for you and your family. I continue to pray, because I have known grief in my own life. I could never presume to compare it with yours, but I know grief. If I could hold you while you cry, I would...but I will hold you in my prayers.
Though life with children is busy for both of us, I pray that the Lord will allow us to get back in touch and to once again nurture a friendship that gave us both joy.
Hold fast to Hope, dear sister,
Dianne
(used to be Ruby, now Goulet)
Dianne! Long time no see. I have thought of you often and wish every Thanksgiving (when I send out my annual letter) that I still had your contact info. After reading through your blog it is obvious that you are not back in the area. Please feel free to contact me.
And, for all the others who want to contact me here it is....I rarely give it out....my email address...
lazydranch@prodigy.net
Dear Heather,
I so appreciate your transparency and honesty. Thank you for sharing your life.
Praying, crying, and rejoicing with you- the Lord is definitely at work!
Your sister in Christ,
Sarah
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