While I was worshipping this morning I found it hard to hold back the tears....o-kay, actually, to be honest, I couldn't keep the tears back. I could barely keep myself from sobbing. It all comes down to awe. How can you not be in awe while standing in front of a Sovereign, Almighty God? I am also in awe that He would consider me worthy of this trial. I know how incredibly weak I am on my own and yet the strength that I feel is so other-worldly. I miss Eric but I can't help but sing His praise. It is the craziest thing...I think about how much I miss Eric which brings my mind back to my Savior. The words we sing remind me of my mortality and Eric's new home and once again this brings my mind back to my Redeemer. Even the words in the sermon remind me of Eric and my thoughts turn into praise to the One, True, Living God.
How can I keep silent? How can I not thank Him for His incredible provision and the blessings He has given me? Even if I can not name them my heart know full well all that He has provided. I am finding it hard to describe to you the emotions that whirl through my head and heart. And, believe me, this is not something that just happens at church...it just seems to be on a grander scale when hearing the harmony of voices.
Today the song that hit me hard was Psalm 62. If you have not heard this beautiful song I encourage you to listen to it here. (I can not remember how to add a YouTube video onto this blog...sorry!) What better lyrics than those of the Psalms.
Stuart Townend and Aaron Keyes
My soul finds rest in God alone, My Rock and my salvation,
A fortress strong against my foes, And I will not be shaken.
Though lips may bless and hearts may curse, And lies like arrows pierce me,
I’ll fix my heart on righteousness, I’ll look to Him who hears me.
O praise Him, hallelujah, My Delight and my Reward;
Everlasting, never failing, My Redeemer, my God.
Find rest, my soul, in God alone amid the world’s temptations;
When evil seeks to take a hold I’ll cling to my salvation.
Though riches come and riches go, Don’t set your heart upon them;
The fields of hope in which I sow are harvested in heaven.
I’ll set my gaze on God alone, and trust in Him completely;
With every day pour out my soul, and He will prove His mercy.
Though life is but a fleeting breath, a sigh too brief to measure,
My King has crushed the curse of death and I am His forever.
So, after reading the third verse can you see why I might just weep with praise?