Counting Sheep

There is a song sung by Rosemary Clooney and Bing Crosby in the movie White Christmas that is a part of our nightly routine with Brown Sugar.

When you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings
When your bankroll is getting small
Just think of when you had none at all
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings

I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads
And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds
If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings

Not realizing it, we had changed the words in the chorus from "I think about a nursery" to "I thank the God of mercy". This song seems so appropriate at this time in all of our lives. I no longer cry myself to sleep nightly. I have my moments but they are very rare now.
That in itself is a mercy.

I have found that my tears have turned into thoughts....about the past, about the burdens of today, and about the future. Remember when I started on this journey I clung to the saying "I don't understand but I trust"?
Now I have a new saying that I repeat every night: Live in the moment.
Get everything out of this moment rather than wishing for a future moment or relishing in the past. There are times for reflection of past memories but in the vast darkness and long hours of the night I find it is much better to live in the here and now.

There is no better example of why I find this new saying important than in the physical realm. Just about every night for the past twenty some odd years I would snuggle with Eric before we both rolled over and fell asleep. Now I have found myself dreading going to bed because in the still of the night your mind can just wander. There are no distractions. It wanders hopefully into the future or desperately into the past clinging to memories that are dimming oh so fast.
So, I repeat my new mantra "live in the moment, live in the moment".
More importantly is the counting of each blessing...thanking God for giving me so much in this life here on earth. While I am doing this I am living in the moment. I am thinking of all the things that are present in our lives right now like our beautiful home, our incredible friends, our loved ones, my children, and the list goes on.

So, here's some timely advice from a song sung long ago:

If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings

~Heather