Tuesday, August 4, 2009

I Can't Believe My Life

Heather Kinzer Davis is having one of those "I Can't Believe My Life" days

That is what my Facebook status read today. It has been one of those days! There are two sides to the above phrase though. In the now or present I have moments when I just can't believe that I am a widowed mother to six children. I just can't believe the tasks that have been laid at my feet to accomplish.
Then there is the flip side of the above statement. I can't believe where I am at this moment. I can't believe all the amazing lessons I have learned and I am amazed at the blessings I witness right now and see coming in the future.

I just can't believe my life!

For a moment I did get caught up in complaining about my present situation. I jokingly told my neighbor that I had had it with the kids and thought that maybe they could just "go away" so I could start over. But, as I tell my children, even in our joking there is always an element of truth in what you are saying.
My conversation with my neighbor was a direct violation of Phil. 2:14 which says "Do all things without grumbling or questioning". As Providence would have it, a close friend called me right in the middle of my conversation. Shortly after that phone call I was feeling rather convicted...my sin was great and it was causing me to become discontent with my circumstances.
That is when I knew that I needed to get on my knees before my Holy God and ask for forgiveness. I needed to ask Him for wisdom. The reason that I was feeling so overwhelmed and out of control was that I hadn't leaned on Him. I was leaning on my own understanding which is weak and crippled because of sin. But, standing in Christ's righteousness I have the ability to have clarity and gain wisdom on how to deal with those crazy moments of life. The key is to ask. So, I have learned to head to my bedroom, close the door, and go to my knees in prayer.

How is it that I am continually amazed at His seemingly quick answers to my prayers? How is it that I still don't trust Him to provide when I ask? He says if we ask for wisdom He will provide. If we trust in Him with all our hearts and if we do not lean on our own understanding that He will direct our path. What an amazing promise from an amazing God.

In thinking about what to write on our blog I thought it might be helpful for some of you to share how I direct my family spiritually.
One of those all time great books that I have added to my list of favorites is "When You Rise Up" by R.C. Sproul Jr. It really is an easy read on the responsibility of the parent to train their children according to Deuteronomy 6:4-9...

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.
5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
6
These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.
7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
8
Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.
9
Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates."

I have always desired to see this be lived out in my family but for various reasons and excuses given we have not been faithful to this Biblical mandate over the years.
As of January I became convicted that I couldn't just wait for God to change my life circumstances (e.g. husband). He had given me the responsibility to lead my family as the head of my home. So, we started out very slowly and very deliberately.

I first started with a daily family worship time at night. We sang, we read the Word, we prayed. This evening ritual has evolved into a time of going over catechism questions, still reading the Word and also reading a theological book. We have also developed a prayer chart that helps us remember to pray specifically for certain people on certain days. For instance, on Monday we pray for all the missionaries we support, on Tuesday we pray for our government officials, on Wednesday we pray for the Elders of our church, etc.

As we were on our trip around the U.S. we were able to witness a family coming together in the morning to read the Word as well as in the evening. I loved this and decided that our family would do the same. So, just about every morning we get up and read a Psalm and a portion of the Proverbs. We then sing the Doxology together. Simple. This falls in line with "when you rise up".

Something that I have done for a very long time as a parent is direct my children back to the Word of God as a way of discipling them. When I find that my children are just bickering way too much I will remind them of Eph. 4:32 "Be kind, tender-hearted, forgiving one another as God, in Christ forgave you." or Phil. 4:8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." I believe that this follows the "Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road" portion of the Deuteronomy passage.
I do the same for myself...that is what I did this afternoon. I was reminded of my sin through the Word of God that I had memorized. Do all things without grumbling or questioning!

Before you begin to think that I have it all together remember that I quite clearly showed you the sin in my life that I dealt with today. As a friend says...I am just a beggar showing another beggar where to find bread...the Bread of Life.
~Heather

3 comments:

Cinnamon said...

Beautiful~

~Cinnamon

Erin said...

Just so you know...you have inspired a family project around here - creating McLaughlin family songbooks. We're even working on a Christmas version!

It was very encouraging to Troy to witness family worship at your house as we had been implementing that ourselves for a few months beforehand. And now the girls have seen it in another home and it has spurred them on as well.

E.T.'s Mom said...

Thank you.