Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Nine Months

We are in our ninth month with Lil' Cowboy and Brown Sugar. This time last year we were hopeful that we would be bringing our children home only to find out that someone in the press had fabricated allegations of trafficking. Of course, the government found that these allegations were false but it did wreak havoc on our plans. It would be yet another three months before we would have them in our arms.
But, here we are nine months into our adoption journey. It is so hard to put on paper (or blog) what it feels like after the fact. You know how you felt before you had your first child and then after you had that same child? Before you had no idea what you were getting yourself into but you were idealistic and just knew that you were going to be the best mommy yet. After you found out that there is really no way you could have prepared for this little one.
I had some of those same feelings going into adoption. I had no idea what it would be like and yet I was wise enough to know that it would not be like having your own bio child. But, I was still idealistic with a bit of worry mixed in. Would I not want them in my house after we spent all that time, money, and energy to get them here? Would I want my life back to before the adoption at some point?
I have not had one moment where I thought "why did we do this?" but I have to admit that these two children have made me very content with the quiverfull that God has given us. In my mind, I am fully able to say that we are done and be thankful. This is a good feeling that I have not had until recently. So, I am grateful for this new found contentment that this adoption has brought me.
The thoughts I have had have been along these lines: I am raising another woman's children, I wish that I could have had them since birth, training a child at six is much harder then at two, I hope I can love them as much as I love my bio children I hope they love me as much as I hope to love them.
There are also a lot of questions: What does Brown Sugar think when she looks at my white skin? How long will it take before Lil' Cowboy and Daisy finally have that brother/sister bond? What will it be like when Lil' Cowboy and Brown Sugar are the only ones left to raise in our house?
I have heard that after six months the honeymoon is over and the children start acting up and not obeying. Thanks be to God that this has not happened for us. We have seen foolish and childish behaviour from Lil' Cowboy but it is everything that we would expect from a seven year old who has never had rules or someone to look out for him. He is bright, energetic, willing to give a hug (and sometimes a kiss), and has a killer smile. He is a Davis through and through. And, I believe that he is loving his new life.
Brown Sugar is a smart cookie. And, she has an attitude to boot! She has completely bonded with us which has been the biggest help considering that she is a handful. I would hate to have to deal with bonding issues and her attitude. She is a delight, fun to be around, listens well, and is learning incredibly fast. Oh, and she has a killer smile also.
I can't imagine what these kids have gone through emotionally. How in the world does a child leave his family, travel all the way across the world, live with a new family and not be effected by it all? The only issue that we see with Lil' Cowboy is that he does not understand the value of things. That's it. It really is a miracle and one that we do not take lightly.
Nine months. What a gift

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