I seem to have taken a few steps back in the tear department. I had been doing well for about a week and a half and then it just hit me. Last night I cried for quite a long time. It is an amazing feeling when you are sobbing and yet feel such a peace about what you are doing. This is not a self-absorbed, self-focused sob but rather a deep pain. This reminds me of a wonderful article that Nancy Wilson wrote on her blog Femina. It is a well written article explaining the differences between grief and discontentment. Click here if you would like to read it.
Actually, I am writing to ask that you continue to pray for our family. I knew there would be ups and downs I just wish they were more predictable. Tomorrow is a very difficult day for us. First, I will be visiting our family physician who saw Eric five days before he collapsed. He was very taken aback by his death. This man is not a Christian...he knows we are. Please pray that I will be a very bright, shining light in his dark world.
Second, we are traveling from the Doctor's appointment to a bonfire outing that our church is having this weekend. It will be a challenge to keep the emotions under control. Our family loved going to this family's house and we have made a lot of memories over the few years that we have known each other. I just need strength to get through this time. It also isn't the easiest to be around intact, happy families right now. I don't begrudge them their happiness and I surely do not envy it but I miss it.
Last but not least, if you check out my comments section you will realize that my oldest son, Goose, is not at home right now. Our church paid his way to a remote island in Northern Canada (above Prince Edward Island) to visit some missionary friends of ours. My son has a wonderful relationship with the father and sons of this family and we (the elders and I) are hoping that this two and a half week "vacation" would help Goose understand the sacrifice that missionaries have to make to live on the mission field and also encourage him in the new life that the Lord has set before him. One of Goose's desires is to be a missionary someday. I am profoundly grateful for an Elder board that wishes to help me and Goose figure out what the Lord has for his future. We also hope that he is an encouragement to them as they live on this very remote, spiritually dark island. He will be coming home on Tuesday. I miss him terribly and can't wait to see his smiling face again.
So, there you go. A long list of requests that I would love for you to help me lift before the Father from whom all blessings flow!