Three Months

Today is April 29th. On this date three months ago I said good-bye to my beloved. So, as you can imagine today was a very emotional one. There were some bright spots in the day though -like having lunch with a friend and picking up Goose at the airport.

Because of an already planned trip to Central Oregon we chose to keep driving north after picking up Goose. It seemed logical rather than driving the hour and a half home south to get back on the road the next day to head north again. So, I am writing to you from a hotel room. I have always loved adventures and this one will hopefully turn out to be a great one. To add to the adventure we decided to take our chances and just find a hotel (this was not that hard since I have stayed in this Northern town before). After booking a room, Boo and I walked over to Marie Callenders and picked up a German Chocolate Pie. This has become a tradition for the kids and I...eating a pie out of the pie tin while sitting in a hotel on vacation. It somehow tastes better and usually there is some left over for breakfast!

I am headed north to attend my brother's wedding. Like last weekend this weekend will be a tough one. All of my mom's side of the family live in Central Oregon (it is where I spent most of my growing up years) and so I have plenty of visits to make and plenty of tears to cry this weekend. Everyone in my family loved Eric.

For many reasons this wedding is not going to be an easy one to attend. First off the wedding is at 6:30am. Ugh! I haven't seem that time in the morning for quite a long time. It is also being held outside which, in May means it will be very, very cold. But, most of all this is hard because it is my brother's third marriage. I hope that the third time is a charm. It is ironic that I was married for twenty years and now I am not married but my sister and brother are and they had not been until just recently. As I told my sister last night, I am very happy for them and I am hopeful that I will be married again soon. But, until then I have to face the facts that I am a widow with six children and that changes more than just the dynamics of my own family. It changes my relationships with everyone in my family.

On a day like today I am very grateful for the covering and love of my Kinsman-Redeemer. He truly satisfies. So, even though I struggle through these tough moments I know I am loved. I know that I am taken care of. I know that I am called.

I was talking to L this afternoon and I commented on how I had made it through the last three months. Her words were so encouraging "You're doing much more than just making it". K called to remind me that she and her husband still KNOW that I can do this. And, I received a card from J letting me know she is praying for me even while on the other side of the states visiting family. It is because of my friends, my church family, my family, and my friends here out in blog world that I am feeling so encouraged. But, it is because of God's gift of perseverance (of the saints) and His faithfulness that I am walking (not standing still) through this valley.

~Lazyd