One way that I deal with the grieving process is to keep working. One of the ways that I have kept myself busy since coming home is by moving furniture around and planning future ideas for the house. So, my days have been filled with laundry, organizing, and shuffling furniture. The rest of our time has been filled with getting together with friends.
Hopefully next week I will be able to share some photos with you of our home makeover. But, in the meantime, would you please pray that I would feel God's comfort and peace during this next week? I know it will be one of the hardest emotional mountains to climb. Tuesday would have been our 21st anniversary. Last year we not only joyfully celebrated our 20th anniversary with a dinner party but we also renewed our vows. I continue to go over those vows in my mind and can not believe that only six months after repeating them I found myself a widow. I can not translate into words how much I loved Eric. I am incredibly thrilled for his "graduation" into glory but the path here on earth is incredibly lonely without him.
~Lazyd
14 comments:
I will pray for peace for you dear Heather!
I know it seems like the absolute wrong time for all this to happen to you. But if you could just peer behind the curtain you'd see that all of these things have happened to you at just the right time for the Lord to accomplish a great work in you, so you can have joy in the midst of your pain. How wonderful it is that you renewed your vows because Eric and you both acknowledged that you each was perfect for the other. It could have been something you really wanted to do but didn't and you'd be beating yourself up, thinking after his death, Oh I wish we'd done that! So you can draw comfort from the fact that Eric died knowing how much you loved him. That is very sweet for both of you because now you're thinking, "I know how much Eric loved me." This is your walk, Heather, and the way is riddled with potholes and boulders, sharp curves and steep inclines that we call special days but really you just have to take it one day at a time and rest in the knowledge that Eric loved you immensely, you were the light of his life, his soul mate into eternity. And now that he has gone before you you are left with the emptiness but you know he wouldn't have wanted you to grieve anymore than is absolutely necessary. There will be so many days, Heather, but you are not ashamed to call the Lord your God and neither is He ashamed to call you His child.
There is great value in suffering. I don't know how it works or why it works but it does. Suffering has eternal value, what we suffer in this life impacts the eternal, and as you lean on Him (and that's what He wants you to do) He will bless you and ease your blinding sorrow. He will give you all the information that will benefit you and He will love you most tenderly. Let Him be your strength and trust Him to uphold you when your legs go weak from grief and sorrow. He will go down every road you go down; He won't make you walk it alone.
I have already prayed for you and I will continue to pray for you because this will be a really tough week for you. Eventually things will get better. I know it's hard to see that now since you are blinded by deepest sorrow. But there will come a day when it will get easier. Just trust in God and He will not disappoint you. Stay in the Word and persevere in prayer. These are the power sources for our earthly walk. Cling to Him. It is what He longs for you to do. He's a God of strength and perseverance, devotion and love. He is devoted to you, His child, and He will sustain you when you have grieved until there's nothing left inside of you. He will sustain you when you stand empty before Him. He will not just give you enough to tide you over or get you by. He will sustain you with an abundance of love and mercy and grace.
I'm anxious to see pictures of your house after you've moved things around. My sister is always moving her furniture around but I've never been that way. I find a place for a chair and it stays there for the duration or until we move again. I've just never been into moving my furniture around. Every time I go to my sister's house she's got things arranged differently.
Okay it's my bedtime. I'm glad you are home and keeping busy. It's good for you to be busy. Okay, I will continue to pray for you.
In Christ's love...
Marj
http://gdlvr.blogspot.com
Here are the lyrics to the song I mentioned. Can't you just hear Eric singing this...and not only singing it but living it? His legacy lives on strong Heath'.
"I’ve heard it said today
Is all we’re given
Tomorrow may not come
So you better start living
I guess it all depends
On your point of view
Pardon me if I
Just don’t listen
To everything the world
Say’s I’m missing
There’s nothing here and now
I’m gonna hold on to
Chorus:
I’m living in the days ahead
I’m already dancing on the streets of gold
Can’t stop celebrating in my soul
I’m living in the days ahead
Nothing on earth could ever compare
Can’t wait for the day when I get there
When I see Jesus face to face
Tell me what could be better
Tell me what could be better
If home is where the heart is then I’m in Heaven
It’s the promise of tomorrow
That I’ve been given
Who is waiting there I am living for
He’s everything I love
And I believe in
And I can hardly wait
Just to see Him
And hear Him say well done
I couldn’t ask for more"
You guys had an incredible marriage and it was a joy to watch you live for the Lord together. You were a great wife and it was a privilege to watch you renew your vows during that beautiful party last summer. How very glad that you have that memory; and how very sad I am for your sorrow.
Cling to Jesus, friend.
I love you-
Lis'
Heather
I wish that I could say it all gets easier but the reality for me was things became less clear. The reason it became less clear was because I tried to be busy, thinking that staying busy would be what got me through, it does for a short while. It took me about two years to come through what I call my fog bank, and in that time I made a lot of stupid mistakes because I just did not trust this one little piece of advice, immerse yourself in the Word of God, immerse yourself in Jesus.
Now I know that it all sounds so simplistic, just to simple to be true but I guarantee that If you will make it your mission in life to cover yourself in getting to know Christ, Jesus will pull you through. You still will have the pain and the crying times but over time it will become less and less, it will never go away, but the time frame will change.
I know this is hard, but you said that Eric was now face to face with Jesus in the first post that I read about you. Well, it is time that you go face to face with Him too, the Bible is the exact representation of Him here on earth, read it, consume it, it is your food, it is your manna. Deuteronomy 8: 3 will explain it better and Hebrews 4: 12 is so true, it is living and active. So, don't just get busy, but get busy in God's word and I guarantee that you will be amazed in a very short time! I have been down this road, I am not far ahead of you. I hope this will help you.
Robert
We'll be praying for you!
by grace,
The Slawsons
We are, and will be, praying for you this week!
Love,
Joy
I'll be praying for you especially this week.
Liz
We are praying for you, Mrs. Davis! God bless each of y'all.
Love, Jessica
As I was reading this weekend, I came across these quotes and thought of you - and also Eric and so many others who have greeted death as a pleasantry, nothing more than a step into the arms of Jesus.
"What is death? It is a low porch through which you stoop to enter heaven. What is life? It is a narrow screen that separates us from glory, and death kindly removes it." CH Spurgeon
"Since Jesus is mine, I'll not fear undressing -
But gladly put off these garments of clay,
To die in the Lord is a covenant blessing;
Since Jesus to glory, through death led the way." Unknown to me
It is a special type of comfort to rejoice with Eric's going home as you do. Such rejoicing is part of what sets us apart, encourages us to mourn as those with Hope. Yet, how difficult to adjust to walking in the Lord without him. The Lord bless you and keep you as you rest in Him.
I am continuing in prayer for you during this especially difficult week.
In the love of Christ ~ Diana
(also "asonevoice")
Dear Heather it has taken me some time to figure out how to get in touch with you as our emails just don't seem to connect. My daughter Sarah has set this up for me so |am mot grateful to her. You have been much in our thoughts since we returned from Colorado. John and I have read through your blog and our souls are overwhelmed with all that you have been through in these last few months. And what can we say but that the wisdom of God is beyond searching and that He works all these sorrows for our good that we might long for Him more and seek a closer communion and fellowship with him. No matter how much we may wonder at his dealings us with we are those that live by faith and believe as Abraham did "Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right". We put this text on our daughter's headstone and it has been the means of great blessing and comfort to us. And though it is now nearly fifteen years since she died we remember the day she was given to us and we held her in our arms only to say good-bye. We do not pretend to know all that God purposed in this loss of our daughter but one thing we do know in our loss and sorrow we have been greatly blessed and we marvel at all He has brought to pass over these years. How He has been pleased to prove us and show us again and again our great need of Him every moment of our lives. Anniversaries are hard... the pain and the loss and the sorrow come flooding back and we feel at times unable to go on that we can bear no more... but how sweet are his promises to those that trust in him and love. He will never leave us or forsake us... He will not test us beyond what we can endure... He was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief... He knows are frame and being our sympathetic High priest He ever lives to make intersession. Look onto Him today Heather and every day He is the Author and Finisher of our faith and He promises to perfect that which concerns us. Cleave to Christ . He is the only one that can satisfy the longing soul. Without Him your sorrow will be unbearable, with Him your sorrow will be turned to joy and you will rejoice in God your Saviour.
Trusting you will know His comfort in abundance. Love to all your dear and precious children.
Angela Magee
Amen and amen! Thank you Angela for those sweet encouraging words. A balm on a very open wound.
Thank you for sharing your experience with sorrow. As I head into five months without Eric I continually marvel at the beauty of His comfort and the joy He freely gives through the darkest moments. There is no doubt in my mind that through these valleys we can see clearly the hand of God.
Please continue to keep in contact. I am hoping that you received my email recently. I will continue to try...there should be no reason why we can't communicate by email. In Christ Alone, Heather
Thinking of you today and praying for you...
continuing to pray for you and your family. you are dear to our hearts. our four year old remembers your family by name and always asks the Lord to comfort your family "since they miss their dad (husband)"
Praying for you sis.
~Rebecca
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