Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Romancing the Holidays

I really did not see this coming but that is probably because I have been so busy. After watching a few holiday movies and listening to holiday music for the past couple of weeks I have come to realize that this is a very sad time of the year for those who do not have someone to hold hands with, receive a hug from, or snuggle with in the cold night air.
All the stress of the season had seemed bearable the past twenty years. Maybe the stress level was different but maybe it was because I was sharing it with someone...that, in and of itself is a rather romantic notion. And, romance is in high gear this time of year.
Eric was a particularly romantic man on occasions. He was not gushingly so by any means. He actually liked showing his love by spending time. For instance, a few years back he was in Italy for a two week drill with the Navy (in conjunction with NATO). He was sitting in front of the Pantheon in Rome and decided that he could not see Italy without me. So, he called me and told me to get onto the next flight to Rome. I was in Oregon at the time and did not have my passport with me so I drove back home and left the next day for Paris and then onto Rome. Mind you, I had never flown overseas before so this was quite the adventure for me.
Eric drove me around southern Italy for the next week. We saw the Amalfi Coast, Pompeii, Naples, Rome, and then headed up to Gubio in the Umbria country. He surprised me with a night's stay at a twelfth century castle...amazing.
All that to say, he had a romantic side to him and thankfully I have incredible memories to look back on. Twenty years of them. It doesn't make the cold evenings any warmer but I can now think about those times with fond feelings.
When my mind starts wandering about the future I usually say outloud "Lord, help me to be content in this new life you have given me as a single." I sure hope that this is not what the Lord has planned for my future but for the time being I know full well that I must live this part of my life without rebellion, learning all the lessons needed before He can lead me on.
If you are married, enjoy your spouse this Christmas season. Enjoy the warmth that this holiday breeds in your hearts for each other. If you are single, know that you have an incredible connection with your Lord. He gives graciously a sweet contentment for
His will if you will only accept it.


Lisa Saner said...

That was absolutely beautiful. God bless you all this Christmas.
Lisa Saner

not2brightGRAM said...

Heather, having spent four Christmases as a single mom, my heart aches for you in that bittersweet way that only one who's been there can. God was so incredibly close to me, yet our human hearts still yearn. Thank you for such a beautiful post. May you feel God's love especially tenderly in the coming days...

Della said...

Having spent the last 12 Christmases without a hand to hold, and the six before that wondering if my (then) husband would spend it with me, or who knows where, this post touches me deeply. My heart goes out to you in your loss and loneliness! Your ability to express it with clarity and hope in the Lord is a blessing to me. Thank you for sharing your heart! God bless you and keep you!

Over Thinker said...

I have been checking in with your blog from time to time since KP mentioned your trials. I know you don't know me, but I have been really encouraged by your blog over the past year. This post especially struck me. Thank you for your kind words. Love in Christ, the Gregg down in S. Cal.

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Rebecca said...

Heather, I love you. I love how honest and vulnerable you are. You have an amazing ability to express your heart.

I am praying for you, dear friend. I can't wait to see you soon!

Martha A. said...

Thank you for sharing that! I have been struggling with this season a bit as my husband has a harder time this time of year and losing someone dear to me as well last year (my grandma), I am thankful for the past memories and thank you for encouraging me. Even when it is hard to be patient, thank you for the reminder to keep going.