Mr. Handyman

I no longer have my handsome Mr. Handyman to help me with the electrical, plumbing, and just regular home and car repairs.

Today a local handyman called to let me know that he saw a part of our fence down. He wants to replace it for free. This is such a wonderful gift and I receive it with a thankful heart. But, it also caused the floodgates to open again. Eric fixed everything not just to save money (and that it did!) but also because he loved to fiddle with things. He loved to learn how to do something new. I am going to miss not only being able to lean on his ability to learn and repair but also I will miss the companionship while he was fixing or building something.

You would find me sitting beside him quietly (that shoulder to shoulder thing) or talking about the latest dreams we were concocting. You would find our kids perched next to him learning the ins and outs of electricity or how to change an oil filter. You would find us girls in the kitchen fixing lunches and serving ice water. These are sweet memories which I will cherish but at the moment they are bittersweet.

~Lazyd

A Very Important Side Note

In the midst of my grief I find myself having to deal with a political issue. Honestly, I love political issues normally but I even find that this Presidential race is not having an affect on my grief stricken mind. I could care less, at this moment,

who is running let alone who will win in November.

But, I have to deal with an issue that is being set before us Californians. To not deal with it will ultimately cause consequences not only for this generation but for many to come.

Here is an overview of the situation at hand:

The 2nd Appellate court of California stepped over their judicial bounds and ruled that homeschooling was not a constitutional right. They further went on to deem that officially California children could only be taught by a credited teacher.

This is Judicial tyranny at its best.

This is not only a Californian issue. If this ruling is allowed to stand it will become precedence of law and would likely help other states overturn their homeschooling laws.

The ramifications here in this state are, I believe, more than the state is bargaining for because it would mean not only homeschoolers needing to find a different avenue to teach but also private schools who do not employ credited teachers needing to change the way they "do" school.

As a mother who believes strongly that homeschooling is not only my legal right but my moral obligation I must get the word out to help those like HSLDA and Focus on the Family.

I am including the link to the petition at HSLDA. Please sign and pray. We must have this ruling depublished so that we can keep judges from creating laws from the bench and most importantly keep our right to home educate our children.

https://www2.hslda.org/Registrations/DepublishingCaliforniaCourtDecision/

~Lazyd

Changes

One important step in the mourning process is to purposefully welcome change. So, here are some of the things that we have changed in our home:

1. I had my hair cut. Eric loved my hair long and so it had been long for some time. It is not necessarily short but it is much shorter than it was...and, even though sitting in the salon chair was very emotional for me I have grown to like my new cut.
2. We painted the main bathroom a beautiful Restoration Hardware blue. I love it. The color before was a medium taupe-brown but with slate rock on the floors, shower walls, and counters it was like walking into a cave.
3. I almost have the loft cleared out. Eric collected, I do not. Enough said?
4. I moved my wedding band over to my other ring finger. This was particularly hard for me. I loved being married but our vows said "till death do us part". God has chosen to righteously severe our vows. I am no longer married to Eric. Those are incredibly hard words to write or say. I don't take our twenty years together for granted but I also want to obediently move to the new place that God has for us rather then stay stagnant in grief.

There are many more changes to come but at the moment I can only slowly move from one change to the next.

~Lazyd

Sacred Marriage

Pastor's sermon was on marriage yesterday. As you can imagine it was not an easy sermon to sit through....I would love to be married right now.

But, I do believe that God's providence supercedes my desire to be comfortable. So, I sat through the sermon determined to learn something for possibly a future marriage or be encouraged by the marriage that I already experienced.

Pastor quoted a wonderful author by the name of Gary Thomas from one of my favorite books "Sacred Marriage". If you have not read this book it is about time you do. The quote is in the form of a question that is the premise of the whole book: "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?"

I always use to say that Eric was my particular sanctification. God placed him in my life to help me grow up. And, as I reflect back on our marriage of twenty years I have to admit that there has been a lot of growing up over the years. Through Eric God was able to mold my character.

This is what I don't understand...why did God take away this incredible tool that He had used to make me holy? Even so I know the answer to my question. It is found throughout the Word of God...He has another plan now. Eric's job was done even though God's work in my life is not.

His death and my mourning is another step on the road to holiness. Will I accept the challenge or refuse to follow? It is written on my heart to continue on....perseverance of the saints.

My challenge to you is to see your husband or wife as a gift from God. Not in the "lucky to have him" kind of gift but rather a gift of sanctification. Find milestones in your own life that show the growth in your character through the help of your spouse. If you can't find much then set your focus of your marriage on holiness rather than happiness and you will see God work through your marriage. By the way, one of the side benefits is that true happiness comes to those who seek holiness in their marriage. I had that...wish I still had it but I continue to trust (again that word comes up) in God's sovereign plan.

How You Live

As you can see on the side bar we finally got the video up from Eric's memorial service. This was put together by some friends of ours who browsed through thousands of pictures to make this sweet tribute.

The song is "How You Live" from Point of Grace. It seemed appropriate to use this song because at Christmas Eric declared to us that this was going to be our family's song for 2008. He challenged us to live each day to its fullest and live the love of Christ in our community, neighborhood, church, and in our family. I would encourage you to be challenged in the same way.

As a side note, you will need to pause the music from the music widget below the pictures before starting the video. Also, let me know if it is just too small. I can move it over into the blog area if you would like.

~Lazyd