Merry Christmas!

MERRY CHRISTMAS
from our house to yours!

Enjoy the beauty of the season and the wonder of His advent.

Celebrate the love of family and friends and enjoy living life to it's fullest!

I look forward to introducing you to my new blog starting January 1st and catching you up on all the incredible moments our family has enjoyed over the past couple of weeks.
Until then, have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!
~Heather

Out of the Office....er, I Mean House

Heather Leigh Olsson
is out of the house
for the next week.
She will be snorkeling and cuddling with her love on the beaches of a remote island out in the Pacific.
She will be back and ready to type away right after Christmas break.

~Heather

Wedding Prep

We have a little more than a week before the wedding and all the preparations are in full swing. I thought I would share with you some of the decoration details. I tried to find a good picture of the beautiful dining room where Phil and I will be saying our vows to each other but just couldn't. The dining room is located on the grounds of our local University. It is a beautiful room that has a floor to ceiling river rock fireplace as the focus. It has hardwood floors and a lodge feeling to it.
Our guests will be seated at the dining tables for the ceremony and reception. Because the room is already beautiful I decided to keep the decorations simple. Every table will have a black lantern as shown above. There will also be tea lights on each table along with magnolia branches. The tableclothes will be ivory and the napkins will be black.
There will be table numbers for each table with pre-arranged seating assignments.

The next few pictures are of all the flowers that we will be using in the bridesmaid's bouquet's, my bouquet, the boutonnieres and corsages. My next door neighbor has such a beautiful, creative eye for such things and so I enlisted her to create the floral arrangements. The above is Hypericum...we will be using burgandy and green versions of this berry.

Queen Anne's Lace

One of my faves...we will be using small green hydrangea flowers.

This flower gets is a close second place to the hydrangea as a fave. The ranuculas is such a beauty. We will be using an ivory version.

This is the spider mum. It comes in a slight green color.

These beautiful roses are kind of vintage looking. They are called vendulla roses and come in a beautiful ivory color.
The colors of the wedding are brown, ivory, black, and sage. There is a sprinkinling of red berries here and there.
We are also using Christmas trees with white lights to beautify the different corners of the building and add ambiance. Lot's of twinkling lights between the tree lights and the flickering candles...kind of like stars.

This is the picture that I sent to the cake designer. I just love the simplicity of it. We will be adding fresh flowers and the colors will be a tad different: brown ribbon and ivory frosting.
The cake will be set between Phil and me on the head table. It is a small cake but we are the only ones who will be eating it. As we cut into the cake the catering service will be handing out tirimisu to our guests and Twinkies/Ding Dongs to our younger guests. Most people just do not like wedding cake and the logistics of serving it to each table (the guest list is at 340) seemed too time consuming. So, we opted for a less traditional route that I hope all will enjoy.

Planning a wedding is quite the ordeal when you are trying to run a household and teach school (ha!). This is truly the biggest party that I have ever hosted! I am getting very excited about it...just can't believe that it is almost here!
~Heather

This is For Real

I had to pinch myself when we walked into David's Bridal a couple of weeks ago. Could this really be happening? I had never tried on wedding dresses before and it seemed surreal to be doing so at this stage of life. I think Lis' and Kenj were feeling somewhat the same as they tried on bridesmaid dresses.

Miss M caught me talking in this picture but I love the fact that you can see my beautiful engagement ring. I had picked up my newly sized ring from the jeweler that afternoon. It felt so good to have it back on my finger!

Katelynn was a tremendous help. She brought out dress after dress for us to try on and when I did find the dress she helped all of my girls and my friends find the perfect bridesmaid dresses.

Lis' knew right away that the dress I had on was the one. She told me that she could tell by the look on my face.

Kenj was thinking the same.

My girls goofin' off!

I'm only going to give you a glimpse of the dress at this time. You will have to wait to see the rest of the dress after the wedding. I know, I know...it seems like a long time to wait but I want to surprise my man!

Miss M took some sweet pictures that night. But, she got so involved in trying on dresses that she forgot to take a picture of the bridesmaid dress that we chose. Oh well...
She did get this beautiful picture of my engagement ring with a small glimpse of the dress.

I was thinking about how I would wear my hair with this particular veil. I was probably also thinking about how not-so-tan I will be in December.

So....usually the most expensive item in the store is what would catch my eye. And, that is exactly what happened. The dress that I loved ended up being a designer dress. My mind braced for the horrible news in the few miliseconds between her telling me that it was a desinger dress and the price of said dress.
To my delight the first words out of her mouth were "This dress has been discontinued". I now was cautiously optomistic. When she finally spilled the amount I was shocked! It was almost sixty percent lower than the amount I had budgeted! I ended up buying my dress and three bridesmaid dresses (for my three girls) for less than what I was thinking my dress would cost.
What a sweet blessing!

What is the purpose of marriage? Marriage is a reflection of the relationship between Christ and His Bride, the Church. Marriage is also a way that God uses to sanctify us...to make us more like Him.
As I learn to respect, honor, and help Phil I am learning to die to self and live for Christ. This is a beautiful thing. As Phil learns to love me he will also put away selfish ambitions and be a reflection of his Savior who loved His own and paid the ultimate sacrifice for their redemption.
Of course, I know that both Phil and I will not always succeed at this high calling.
But, we hope and pray diligently that the Lord would bless us with a marriage that would reflect His forgiveness, grace, and love.

It is good for a young widow to be married.
It is good for children to have a father.
It is good for there to be male leadership in the home.
It is a blessing to be with someone who believes the same, fun to talk to, someone whom you are attracted to, and someone to love.
I count my blessings daily and continually stand in awe at the
goodness that the Lord has shown us.
~Heather

About Him

I am still amazed at the gift that Phil is in my life.
He is a blessing to both me and my kids.
I am completely convinced that our relationship was directed by the hand of God.
I know God ordains all things...there are just so many factors that have us both standing back
in wonder and awe at how He brought us together.

Some have questioned if this bachelor is really ready to take on six children.
I believe that not only did God preserve Phil for me but that He has uniquely enabled him
and prepared him for this task.
Phil goes into this new phase of life knowing full well the duty that he will be given.
He has been given a great amount of wisdom especially for someone who has never raised children. But, a part of his good character is that he is very purposeful. For years he has "hung out" with his closest friends who have three children. Weekly he would have dinner with them and join them in the family worship. He knew that he would have a family someday and was preparing even then by observing their family.
His parents have been a foster family for years and he has two black foster brothers that he has had developed relationships with. He has observed his parents raise these guys and has watched his sisters raise their children as well.
I have been so impressed with his insight into my children (soon to be our children!). He has helped me come up with creative ways of discipling the kiddos. He has taken the time to get to know each child and know their interests. He has done a great job of wooing my children.
Brown Sugar every morning asks me "Are you going to marry Mr. Phil?" I answer yes and then she replies "He's going to be my daddy!". Picture her giggling with a big smile on her face.

While I was on my trip across the U.S. I was able to meet some friends of Phil's. They used to live out in the San Fransisco area and he was Phil's Elder at one time. When we talked about the relationship that Phil and I were developing he had some great insight. He said that many young single men float from church to church and very rarely establish concrete, long lasting relationships with people. He said that Phil has not been like this. He has chosen to keep up his friendships and seek out those who would challenge him in his life.
In fact, these particular friends had been friends with him for many, many years.
This loyalty and commitment to long lasting relationships shows great character. And, those that have known him a long time have only great things to say about this man.

We have so much in common! I have never met someone that is so much like me! I believe that this is a gift. We feel like we are kindred spirits and quite bonded to each other already. Having similar tastes and ideals means that meshing our lives together will be much easier which will give us the ability to work together on creating a new family out of an existing family.
The friendship that has been created was so easy! It really is a God thing.

One of the things that intrigued me about Phil was that as I got to know him I realized that he fulfilled all of those things I was looking for in a man...praying for in a man.
He is intelligent...much smarter than I am. I learn so much from him and enjoy our conversations. He is not intimidated if I know more than him in a certain subject. He enjoys me asking questions and even allows me to "think out loud" even if my hypothysis sounds a little off. I appreciate his love for the English language....I even like it when he corrects me because he does it gently and I get the chance to learn.

He is Reformed in his theology. I could rattle off all the specifics of our theology and what we, in particular, believe but that is really unnecessary. It is just amazing to have a man in my life that 100% believes the way I do. This was important as I said in an earlier post. I have very specific theological beliefs that I have developed after many years of reading God's Word and listening to the teaching of many godly men. I just knew that it would be better for me to stay single than settle for a husband who did not believe the same. I think as we began to talk we realized how special and unusual this connection was.

He is fun loving and knows how to relax. He makes me laugh...constantly. I love to laugh and so this really is a great combination. He does the most incredible Jimmy Stewart impression. It gets me every time!
We have spent many a Saturday playing out in the pool with the kids. We have walked to the park and thrown frisbees, kicked around a soccer ball, and he taught me how to hit a baseball. He loves to joke around with the kids which has helped develop those relationships.
A part of the fun loving personality is a desire to entertain and be hospitible. Opening up our home has always been a major part of my life and I feel it is a mandate in Scripture. So, to find someone who feels the same and has an easy time communicating and fellowshipping is such a plus.

He desires to take on the spiritual leading role in our family. He understands and appreciates my desire to be led in this way. He has thought through how he wants to catechise his children and lead them daily to the Word in family worship and in discipleship. He loves singing the Psalms and appreciates my ability to play the piano. We have spent many weekend evenings sitting at the piano singing together with the kids. I have told Phil many times that even if the only thing we had between us was his desire to lead us spiritually, that would be the greatest reason to get married. But, we have an incredible friendship, love for each other, and we are physically attracted to one another as well. What a gift!

I find myself overwhelmed at God's goodness and faithfulness to me when I talk about Phil. In my own strength I would have not picked out someone so perfect for me. He and I both kNow that he is a sinner saved by Grace. We both know that he has areas to work on as much as I do. But, we pray for each other and ask the Lord to work in and through us to make us more like Him.

I might have to write more about him later! I could go on and on...
This blog will be quiet for a week as we head off to our church's annual family camp.

When I get back I'll share some photos from my night out with my bridesmaids finding the perfect dress and also write about what I believe is the reason for marriage.
~Heather

Here's the Scoop

I am sure that you all are hoping to hear the whole story about how Phil and I met and what brought us to the point of our engagement.
So, I will delay no longer....here you go!

Phil has been attending our church for a couple of years now.
He remembers the first time we met...it was the first Sunday that we brought Brown Sugar and Lil' Cowboy to church. They hadn't even been in the U.S. for twenty-four hours!

Quite a few months after Eric died I had a few people ask me if I would be interested in Phil. My answer was always yes but he wouldn't be interested in me for obvious reasons: I am older than him, I have six children, he has never been married, etc.


One Sunday in February we were sitting across from each other after our church's fellowship meal. I asked him how his schooling was going (Phil is working on his PhD in Philosophy of Religion). He started talking about Schleiermacher who is a wacky German theologian of whom he had to read in preparation for his PhD exams. I was interested in what he was learning and he became interested in me.
He started sitting next to us every Sunday at the fellowship meals and by the end of March I was getting suspicious of his intentions. There was one Sunday that we fondly refer to as the Steve Taylor moment. We were sitting across from each other, surrounded by friends, when our conversation turned to Steve Taylor and how much we both loved his music. At some point I felt like time had stopped and it was just Phil and I talking and laughing. It was at that moment that I knew that there was something there at least on my part. I called a mutual friend and asked her if I was imagining his interest in me. I asked her specifically to kick me in the pants if I was incorrect in my assumptions. She said she wouldn't kick me in the pants and then told me to see where God takes this. Neither one of us knew at the time that
Phil had been talking to her husband about me.

The next day I had a message in my Facebook inbox from Phil. He told me that he liked me and wanted to get to know me better. Of course I agreed and thus started a two week correspondence by email. We were able to talk with each other on Sundays as well.

Because I am under the supervision of the Elders of my church I felt it was only right that Phil contact my oversight Elder and let him know that he was interested in pursuing a relationship with me. But, I didn't want to tell him to do this...I was hoping he would think of it himself. The next day, without me saying anything (just praying), Phil contacted me by email and let me know that he had indeed let the Elders know of his interest. I was excited to see God work out this simple detail and was impressed with Phil. Something to remember...neither Phil nor I have ever done the whole courtship thing. And, for that matter, neither have our Elders. This is all new territory!

By week three he asked if he could call me. We were both a bit nervous but were pleasantly surprised that the conversation flowed so naturally. We ended up being on the phone for four hours that first call. Mind you, the phone call started at 9pm so that I could have family time wrapped up and the little ones in bed.

That first phone call started a wonderful trend. At first he only called me once a week. Then he moved to twice a week with each phone call lasting between four and five hours. We have now gotten "smart" and talk every night for about three hours! We never seem to run out of things to talk about and we have found out that we are very much alike.

I was starting to dread my upcoming trip across the United States but decided that I must continue with my plans. I realized that this would probably be the last time for me to take such a trip with the family that God had given me that past year. By this time I knew in my heart that Phil was the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But, I wasn't sure about his feelings towards me.

We talked quite often while I was on the road. I sat in hotel exercise rooms, back porches, and out in the van. In fact, one of my favorite memories was when we were in Tennessee. Our dear friends at our sister church in Centerville teased me endlessly about our phone calls. They had very little reception...only a few bars if I sat out on the back porch. One evening they came out periodically with a chair and glass of wine, a tray of food, a blanket, and even an extension cord for me to charge my phone! To the Stouffers and Bradshaw families...you are the dearest!

Over that six week period of traveling our friendship blossomed. We had the ability to talk about anything and everything. He made me laugh and was there on the phone with me when we were sitting in the back of Target waiting for the tornado to pass. We sang Psalms together over the phone and encouraged each other. It was a long time to be away from each other but it allowed me time to spend with my children and it gave him time to study for his upcoming exams.


The weekend after we came home was a huge one for both Phil and I. The reunion was sweet! His parents came out for the carnival my friends were hosting and spent the weekend with us. Phil had told me that his mother was praying for us and that she had gotten to know me through my blog. I was so nervous but now wonder why. Bob and Joan are just plain wonderful! It wasn't long after that I met his older sister and her family and his younger foster brothers. I couldn't believe how accepting they were of me and my situation. How many families do you know that encourage their son to pursue a woman who has six kids!?! I must mention that I had been lurking on his younger sister's blog for the past three years and yet did not know that it was his sister until he had mentioned her early on in our relationship. Who would have thunk! She is as encouraging and excited to have the kids and I join their family (Hey there Nan!)!

With my traveling behind me we continued to talk on the phone and only see each other on the weekends. He works for his dad as a plumber's assistant in the bay area (about an hour away) and then studies the rest of the day. His studies became more intense throughout July until he headed down south for his exams.

We continued to talk on the phone during the two weeks he was away for those exams but this time apart was harder on me than I expected. I was diligently praying for him during this time and tried to keep our conversations more focused on his exams and what was going on in his life. I began to pray for him in other ways....if he was the "one" that the Lord would begin to intertwine our hearts together and ready him for the jobs of husband and father.

Phil came home from his testing on August 1st. As I write this I am kinda shocked at how that was only a month ago. It seems like a lot of time has passed! We had quite a few plans that we had purposefully made in August. Plans that included the whole family so as to help us all get use to the idea of this new family that God seemed to be forming. One of those plans was a "family reunion" of sorts for his family. We were invited to spend the night at his parents home and meet some of Joan's extended family.

Although we both were enjoying our time at his parents there was an email that was lurking in the back of our minds. My oversight Elder had sent us both an email that encouraged us to move out of our courtship and into an engagement. His reasoning was accurate. Courtship is for the sole purpose of finding out if this person is the one God is directing you to marry. If this is decided in the positive then staying in this "place" leads to a dating relationship which is what we try to avoid.

That night I read the email and spent the rest of the night praying and crying. Over and over again my heart kept repeating "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.".
I knew what I had to do. I had to trust God and talk to Phil about our relationship. I saw only two options: we either move backward or forward. Moving backward would mean not pursuing a relationship at this time. Moving forward would mean engagement.
I had no idea that he was wrestling with these same issues that night as well.

The next morning I asked the Lord to provide time for us to talk. He had to go to work with his dad and the following weekend was full of activities with his older sister and her family. Only God would be able to give us the few moments we needed to talk this through...and He did.
I was up early and Phil came over to his parents house early. We sat and talked and I cried as I willingly trusted God and told Phil of the options. I honestly thought he would take the first option of going backwards in our relationship.

We decided to go for a walk and get some fresh air. He told me to give him a week. I told him that if we decided to break off this courtship that I would walk away from our relationship knowing that I had found a kindred spirit and good friend in him. In my heart I kept praying that God would help me be content in whatever Phil decided.

We walked up the hill together and then he took me down a side street. We stopped at the top of the hill and the next thing I knew he was on his knees asking me to marry him. Of course, my answer was yes. We both just stood there crying, hugging, and saying "I love you". I am sure that those on their morning commute were wondering what was going on! On the way back down to his parents house I could not believe what had just happened. I don't think Phil could as well. He told me that as we were walking up the hill he decided that he could not imagine walking through the ups and downs of life without me.

In taking that step towards trust I was able to see God's faithfulness yet again. He had turned an interest into a fast growing friendship that was quickly moving into a mutual love for each other. A love based on similar lifestyles, interests, and commitment to God.

When we got back to his parents we gathered all the kids and Phil told them that he had asked me to marry him. The kids were all so very happy! The rest of the morning was kind of surreal. Phil asked if I would be interested in wearing his grandmother's ring or if we should go ring shopping. I am sucker for heirlooms and when I saw the ring he was talking about it was decided. The ring is a beautiful 1930s set. For the next couple of days his mom and sisters would tell me stories about the lady that wore the ring before me. I am truly honored!

We took the kids bowling that afternoon. What a fun memory! Miss M took a picture of us waiting for the bowling scores to come up on the board which I posted on my FB. Within a half hour I had a couple of people ask about the ring on my finger! I didn't even know you could see it in the picture. Too funny!
The next twenty-four hours was a whirlwind. Phil needed to call my parents so I was not able to post it on here or on Facebook. But, I did post that I was happy and blessed...of course, I have posted that same status probably six times over the past year. But, my dear friend Kendra posted that she had a secret that was not hers to tell. Now how some of you Facebook friends figured out something was going on with me...I have no idea. I mean really....she could have been talking about anyone! But, the news (that wasn't news yet) was rather contagious! My other dear friend Lisa, wrote just that on her Facebook status.
As soon as my parents were notified we "spilled the beans" on Facebook and confirmed everyone's suspicions. And, now you, my blog readers, are informed as well.

So, now you know the reason why my blogs have been so few and far between! The only thing that I really wanted to talk about was my relationship with Phil! But, I had determined that I would not share our relationship with the blog world until I had a ring on my finger.
In my next blogspot I want to tell you all about my fiance. He is an incredible man who I will soon be blessed to call my husband.
~Heather

O God Beyond All Praising

O God beyond all praising we worship you today
And sing the love amazing that songs can not repay
For we can only wonder at every gift you send
And blessings without number and mercies without end
We lift our hearts before You and wait upon Your Word
We honor and adore You our great and mighty Lord

Then hear O gracious Savior accept the love we bring
That we who know Your favor may serve you as our King
And whether our tomorrows be filled with good or ill
We'll triumph through our sorrows and rise to bless you still
To marvel at Your beauty and glory in Your ways
And make a joyful duty our sacrifice of praise.

O Lord, my God, I pleaded that You might heal and save
Lord You from death have ransomed and kept me from the grave
His saints, O praise Jehovah, and praise His holy name
His anger lasts a moment, His grace a whole lifetime
For sorrow, like a pilgrim, may tarry all the night
But then a shout of joy comes when dawns the morning light.

O hear me now Jehovah be gracious unto me
To You I cry Jehovah O now my helper be
You now have turned my sorrow to dancing full of joy
You loosened all my sackcloth and girded me with joy
To You sing songs my glory and never silent be
O Lord, my God, I thank You through all eternity.

This is a song we sing in our church with two added verses from Psalm 30. We sang this Sunday with many tears streaming down my face.
The desire of my heart this past year and a half was to give all praise, honor, and glory to my heavenly Father who has enabled me to persevere under the trial that was set before me.
As I have tried to humbly submit to God and bless His holy name through my sorrow I now have the privilege of doing the same with great joy.

Sooooooo....
I am officially announcing that I am engaged to be married to an incredible man by the name of Phil Olsson.



We are planning on being married this December.
He is everything that I was hoping for and even more.
I am blessed and sometimes find myself overwhelmed with the gracious gift that God is giving me. I am so thankful that I chose to obey and rejoice in the Lord always during my days of grief. It has made these new moments of my life all the more precious. I hope you will rejoice with us and pray for us as we start this new life together.
My next post will give you all the details on our courtship and engagement.


~Heather

What He Must Be

Quite a long time ago I sat down and created a list of the things that I desire in a future spouse.
I was fairly specific with the intent of making sure that I would not settle for less.

My prayer is that God would bring someone to me. I mean, really, the whole bar thing just doesn't work. Can you imagine? I envision the conversation going something like this,"Well, if you are interested in me I need to tell you up front that I have six children and I teach them at home. I am a Reformed Presbyterian who holds to Covenant Theology and wears a head covering. I am so politically to the right that there really isn't a political group that I can belong to....so, are you still interested?"

I also pray that the Lord will bring someone into my life soon. I don't desire to be a widow for very long. It is a biblical concept for young widows to remarry
and I have little ones that need a daddy.
Amidst these prayers I have been praying that this man would fit the list that I wrote out. Here are fourteen of them...
1. Intelligent- I desire to enjoy the company of someone who is more intelligent than I. He would need to not be intimidated by my love of learning and want to have deep conversations. He would also need to be willing to teach me and answer my many, many questions.
2. Reformed- Really, this is number one. He has to be more than just a professing Christian. I am fairly well versed on what I believe and I believe it with all my heart. Because I believe that submission to my future husband is critical I feel that those areas that I feel strongly about are those that I should not compromise on or it could make it hard for me to submit.
Along with my firm belief in the Reformed doctrine I also have other theological beliefs that could be controversial including Covenant Communion and head coverings. This sure narrows the field of men down!
3. Spiritual Leader- I desire to be nurtured spiritually. I want a husband who loves the Word and wants to read it with me and pray with me. Someone who desires to see me grow and our children grow in the admonition of the Lord. Daily reading the Word as a family is of ;utmost importance to me and so I am looking for someone who feels the same.
4. Someone who has much patience for me. I have sins that plague me..for instance, I get frustrated when my children do not finish jobs or do it to the best of their ability. I forget quickly that I am to train these kiddos and not get overly worked up.
5. Understanding that I have had a twenty year marriage to another man is very important. Eric's memories are not going to go away especially for my children. To not be hurt or intimidated by Eric's memory is very important. Having the understanding that he can not fill Eric's shoes but rather see that this is a new phase of my life is crucial.
6. I am not naturally athletic. I have to work at it. But, I love being active. We have a pool that I spend quite a bit of time in. So, the love of water might need to be added to this section! I just want to be outside doing stuff...walking, hiking, riding bikes, etc.
7. A hard worker is...well, is hard to find. I like the motto that we should work hard and play hard. But, the key? Working hard comes first. I am not interested in a man who is a sluggard.
8. Having a passion for life and for the God that created it is really important to me. I see beauty in the world around us. There is no time to be offended by the little things in life. Instead, living passionately for God means to live each moment to its fullest and to the glory of God. Granted, I don't even accomplish this at all times but having someone in my life to remind me to do this and who strives to do the same is so important.
9. Physical affection is a must. I am a very affectionate person...enough said!
10. Knowing how to relax is a need in my life. Sometimes life can just get incredibly hectic and busy. To be able to take a deep breath and read a good book is good for the soul and the body. This is something that I need to be encouraged to do.
I tend to be so busy and let my life get to chaotic.
11. My six children all have different personalities and different needs. The man I need is going to have to be incredibly special to take this task on but he will also need to be creative and have an abundance of wisdom.
12. He must love children. He must. There is no way around this one...I have six of them!
13. I really need to have someone who is taller than me. I know it sounds silly but it made the list so it is obviously important to me.
14. The man that I marry in the future will hopefully desire to be my best friend and will enjoy having a help mate. I want to adore, respect, and honor a husband again. It is such a worthy calling!

There are many more things that I could mention but I thought these would give you an idea of the kind of man I am looking for. I really don't care what he does for a living or what kind of car he drives. I don't really even care what his clothes look like. I just desire to meet a godly man who fits this rather substantial list.

Some may wonder why I post this...stay tuned!
~Heather