I Can't Believe My Life

Heather Kinzer Davis is having one of those "I Can't Believe My Life" days

That is what my Facebook status read today. It has been one of those days! There are two sides to the above phrase though. In the now or present I have moments when I just can't believe that I am a widowed mother to six children. I just can't believe the tasks that have been laid at my feet to accomplish.
Then there is the flip side of the above statement. I can't believe where I am at this moment. I can't believe all the amazing lessons I have learned and I am amazed at the blessings I witness right now and see coming in the future.

I just can't believe my life!

For a moment I did get caught up in complaining about my present situation. I jokingly told my neighbor that I had had it with the kids and thought that maybe they could just "go away" so I could start over. But, as I tell my children, even in our joking there is always an element of truth in what you are saying.
My conversation with my neighbor was a direct violation of Phil. 2:14 which says "Do all things without grumbling or questioning". As Providence would have it, a close friend called me right in the middle of my conversation. Shortly after that phone call I was feeling rather convicted...my sin was great and it was causing me to become discontent with my circumstances.
That is when I knew that I needed to get on my knees before my Holy God and ask for forgiveness. I needed to ask Him for wisdom. The reason that I was feeling so overwhelmed and out of control was that I hadn't leaned on Him. I was leaning on my own understanding which is weak and crippled because of sin. But, standing in Christ's righteousness I have the ability to have clarity and gain wisdom on how to deal with those crazy moments of life. The key is to ask. So, I have learned to head to my bedroom, close the door, and go to my knees in prayer.

How is it that I am continually amazed at His seemingly quick answers to my prayers? How is it that I still don't trust Him to provide when I ask? He says if we ask for wisdom He will provide. If we trust in Him with all our hearts and if we do not lean on our own understanding that He will direct our path. What an amazing promise from an amazing God.

In thinking about what to write on our blog I thought it might be helpful for some of you to share how I direct my family spiritually.
One of those all time great books that I have added to my list of favorites is "When You Rise Up" by R.C. Sproul Jr. It really is an easy read on the responsibility of the parent to train their children according to Deuteronomy 6:4-9...

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.
⁵ Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.
⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.
⁹ Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates."

I have always desired to see this be lived out in my family but for various reasons and excuses given we have not been faithful to this Biblical mandate over the years.
As of January I became convicted that I couldn't just wait for God to change my life circumstances (e.g. husband). He had given me the responsibility to lead my family as the head of my home. So, we started out very slowly and very deliberately.

I first started with a daily family worship time at night. We sang, we read the Word, we prayed. This evening ritual has evolved into a time of going over catechism questions, still reading the Word and also reading a theological book. We have also developed a prayer chart that helps us remember to pray specifically for certain people on certain days. For instance, on Monday we pray for all the missionaries we support, on Tuesday we pray for our government officials, on Wednesday we pray for the Elders of our church, etc.

As we were on our trip around the U.S. we were able to witness a family coming together in the morning to read the Word as well as in the evening. I loved this and decided that our family would do the same. So, just about every morning we get up and read a Psalm and a portion of the Proverbs. We then sing the Doxology together. Simple. This falls in line with "when you rise up".

Something that I have done for a very long time as a parent is direct my children back to the Word of God as a way of discipling them. When I find that my children are just bickering way too much I will remind them of Eph. 4:32 "Be kind, tender-hearted, forgiving one another as God, in Christ forgave you." or Phil. 4:8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." I believe that this follows the "Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road" portion of the Deuteronomy passage.
I do the same for myself...that is what I did this afternoon. I was reminded of my sin through the Word of God that I had memorized. Do all things without grumbling or questioning!

Before you begin to think that I have it all together remember that I quite clearly showed you the sin in my life that I dealt with today. As a friend says...I am just a beggar showing another beggar where to find bread...the Bread of Life.
~Heather

No Screaming Please

Brown Sugar has found her voice! For those of you who may not remember, Brown Sugar was only 12lb at a year old when she came home from Liberia. She was incredibly lethargic and compliant. We figured this was her personality but we figured wrong.

She has a very strong personality and she is talking up a storm now-a-days. With those she is comfortable with, she will sit and pretend to carry on a conversation. She loves to mimic every word that you say and is doing quite well at this game. But, along with her new found voice she has also found that she can scream and cry rather loudly.

Our family is not an overly quiet family but if you visited our home you would find that it is probably quieter than most. We have trained all of our other children
to cry quietly and to not whine.

Don't get me wrong here, we know that crying is important. We believe that there are legitimate times to cry but we also believe that this is another area that parents do not realize they can train. For instance, when a child falls we train them, over a period of time, to make their crying reflect the hurt they are feeling. If a child comes in with a broken arm or a serious cut I expect a lot of crying (or no crying at all if they are in shock). But, if they caught themselves in a fall or skinned their knee I expect a few tears. This is a hard area to teach but it is really important. Remember the little boy who cried wolf?

Brown Sugar is learning this lesson rather well. But, when it comes to her personal space or her will being crossed she screams to let the whole world know that she is not happy. This, my friends, is not acceptable in our home. Neither is whining. We try to immediately put our hand over her mouth and give her a firm no. BUT, we also remind our other children, who are usually the offenders, that toddlers do not understand sharing or boundaries at this point. This is training time and in training time we need our older children to help not hinder the process.

I find myself wondering if she is really getting it when I put my hand over her mouth and say firmly, "No screaming". But, I am reminded that children catch on to more of what we say than what we think. And, all training is beneficial even if it seems to be only the parent who is "getting it".

As for whining, whenever she asks for something with a whine we just don't give it to her. We show her how we want her to say it and until she says it the correct way she just does not get whatever it is that she desires. Last night we had one of these "events". Brown Sugar wanted Boo to hold her. She was whining and holding up her arms to Boo. Boo said she would not until she asked the right way. Brown Sugar was just not getting it so I got down on my knees and assisted her in saying the words, "Please up". After about three times and a few tears she finally said it correctly. She was rewarded with a "yeah", many smiles, and a big hug from Mommy and Boo who also picked her up as requested.

I continually remind myself that this is a long journey. This is not just a one time training, we move onto the next item, and in a few years we are done. This is a hard road, a narrow road that is only for the strong, not the weary. But, those on this road realize that the only way to be strong is through the work of the Holy Spirit. It's through God's strength that we are able to continue training our children to His glory.