My First Love Story

I had a wonderful time telling you all about how I met Eric but let me tell you about my first love. It all happened at the very young age of four.
I was at a Vacation Bible School being held in my own home (at least I believe it was). There was a bit of bribery in the whole affair. If you asked Jesus into your heart you received a Bible.
The cover of the Bible had a picture of Jesus sitting under a tree with children all around him and a child on His lap. I envisioned that I was that child...sitting right on Jesus' lap.
I was bound and determined to get that Bible and saying a prayer was easy right?
It took me the whole week to say that prayer. When I finally did I was given the Bible and then was told that I needed to confess with my mouth that Jesus was Lord. My parents took me down to our church building (it felt so strange to be there in the middle of the week...it was so quiet) and I told the Pastor that I had asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior.

I grew up in the church nursery and Sunday school. I eventually graduated to the "big" church at a much younger age then most children do now. We went to a local Baptist church in the Bay Area and then in Central Oregon. I know nothing different then hearing the Gospel from the pulpit every Sunday. I now know what a blessing this is.
Too bad I didn't understand that blessing when I was in my teen years. The world was enticing and I was easily enticed. But, boy did I look good on the outside. I had a natural talent at the piano and so I became fully engaged in church music. To this day my heart skips a beat when I hear a good choral piece! I was quickly put in the spot light and enjoyed the accolades of many an older congregate that thought my voice sounded like an angel.
Pretty soon my head swelled to the point that I thought I deserved the solo part that another singer got. My heart was deceived and was growing full of pride.
The cup of my life was perfectly clean on the outside with no chips or blemishes but the inside was encrusted with a thick layer of nasty gunk. Even if you poured fresh clean water in it it would pour out nasty, gunky water.
Then, I was kicked out of Liberty University. That was one of the first times I had reality kick me in the stomach. It was ugly but it would take many more years of stomach kicks to finally get my heart headed towards "home".
Thankfully, as with many of you, my first Love worked on me with patience. He judicially worked out His mercy in my life through years of marriage with Eric and raising our children. Actually, to be more accurate, He continues to show me my sin through my children. There truly is nothing more humbling than to discipline your child on a matter that
you have not disciplined yourself.
Through this last year I have been faced with the physical reality that my husband for the time being is my first Love. Although I have walked closer with Him in the past fifteen years of my life I am enjoying getting to know Him more intimately. He has been a faithful Love. And, now the inside of my proverbial cup is just pretty much as nice as the outside. Thanks be to God!
~Heather

A Love Story

The second most common question asked of me was if I would share how Eric and I met.
As I was thinking back I realized that this was twenty-four years ago. Amazing.

After high school I moved to Virginia to attend Liberty University. But, for various reasons I just did not do well. After about six months worth of schooling I was expelled and sent home. I was a silly young girl that needed to seriously grow up.
I came home and found a job at the local Bible book store as the music manager. This is where I met Eric's sister. She set Eric and I up on a blind date...I will never forget the events of that evening. He was stationed on the USS Carl Vinson in Alameda (Oakland Harbor for those of you not familiar with California) and I was a sucker for a guy in uniform. I watched him do his laundry as we talked about everything.
He is not here to defend himself but he always loved to here me tell the details of our "courtship" and marriage. The night of our first date he wore cowboy boots, white pants, a red shirt, and a panama hat! I obviously looked past the outfit and enjoyed his company. He always said that he knew that night that I would be his wife. I, on the other hand, was head over heels but didn't know if he felt the same.
We continued to see each other for the next two weeks and then he was out at sea for two months. This was not the "kinder, gentler" Navy we see of today. There was no other way of communicating except through snail mail. He came home for six weeks and then went out to sea for six months. This was our first West-Pac (Western Pacific tour of duty) that we endured. It was crazy but good for us to be separate. We had to rely on letters and cassette tapes to communicate.
He came back and within a month he proposed marriage. I was 19 at the time and thought that the world was going to end soon! Seriously though, I was in a hurry to get married and live that life rather than be happy in the life God had me at the time. I will not complain though..I was incredibly immature but I grew up over the next ten years. I think marriage was the only thing that would have accomplished this.
Soooooo, here is the interesting part of the story and some would say the funniest. If Eric and I were sitting across the table from you and this subject came up you would see us both laughingly joke about who tells this story better. I think I do!

We were getting antsy and a bit annoyed at the lack of participation from family members and so we decided to take matters into our own hands and elope. Financially it helped also because as a single Navy guy he had to live on the ship. As soon as he was married he received a housing stiffend that greatly increased his income. Enough of the excuses! Really, I would not recommend elopement. It was incredibly selfish of us to not include our family and very disrespectful to our parents.
But, the story in and of itself is really quite hilarious...at least in retrospect.
Eric had been up visiting his family in Idaho and was coming back to California when he called and asked me to meet him in Reno. He had found a place to get married (not hard to do) and set up an appointment. I drove up and met him at the local Super 8 (Eric grew into his romantic side!) and there we waited for the limo to come and get us. Sounds great doesn't it? Not for this blushing bride. The limo was a hand-me-down and the worn upholstry gave hint to how old it really was. The guy driving had tatoos up his arms revealed by his white t-shirt. He got to talking to Eric about the military...he fought in Vietnam.
The driver took us to the city offices where we got our marriage liscense. The place is open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week! Obviously weddings are a big industry in Nevada.
Then, our friendly Vietnam Vet drove us to where we were to get married.
Under the shadows of Circus Circus Casino there is a small cinder block building with Bambi (the deer) painted in a mural on the side. It was called...brace yourself....

Cupid's Chapel of Love

I am not kidding! Everything was charged for at Cupids. If you wanted a fake bouquet, canned music, a polaroid picture, or needed witnesses...they could all be provided for you for a substantial fee. We did not bring witnesses so the two people who sat in the waiting room (conveniently) became our "intimate" friends in a matter of moments and witnessed the ceremony.
Eric and I walked down the aisle and waited for the state ordained "pastor" to come out from behind the curtain. He did and we almost busted out laughing or crying...I think our emotions were rather mixed up at that moment. No, it was not Elvis but it was a man with a ten gallon hat, gold tooth, polyester suit, and pointed cowboy boots.
He used his Texas drawl to give us our vows and pronounce us man and wife. With our polaroid picture in hand we walked back down the aisle and headed back to our hotel with only enough money in our pockets to split a hamburger at Burger King (hate the place to this day) and buy gas for the next day's trip home.
The next day we drove back to the valley where he went back to his sister's home and I went back to the house I as living in at the time (I was a nanny for a single mom who worked nights). That weekend he got the money he needed from the Navy and we moved into an apartment. But, alas, we found that one of the tenants was an old high school friend who attended the same church as my family. Yikes! The last thing we wanted was to look like we were living together so Eric went to tell my parents that we were married. I just did not have the courage to do it or even go with him. Another silly girl move that showed how truly immature I was.
Needless to say my parents were angry and hurt. I can't blame them!
It took a few years for my parents to accept our marriage. Boo was a great healer for our family.

So, did you laugh with me? I laugh every time I tell this story. This is the first time I have retold the story since Eric died. We would cut each other off of finish each other's sentences while telling this story and so it seems rather strange to write it all out without him laughing in the background - reminding me to not forget such-and-such a detail.

We renewed our vows on our Twentieth anniversary, seven months before he died. We decorated our backyard to look like an Italian cafe. We invited our closest friends and our parents sat with us up at the head table. The wine was great, the food incredible, and the night was a beauty. The moon shown brightly down on us and the vows we said were filled with much emotion. We spent the last twenty years growing up and growing together.
The first ten years was not so fun but when I learned the lesson of what submission truly means and how to respect the man I married I found that his love overflowed for me and he became quite the romantic guy.
I was blessed with twenty incredibly years with Eric. Years that made me who I am now. I am no longer dependant on the world's affirmation. I am even learning that I am a lot stronger than I could have imagined...Eric always said so but I didn't believe him.

But, I am telling you now...if I ever get the chance to marry again Cupid's Chapel of Love is not even on the top ten places to consider!
~Heather

In the Meantime...

Here are some fun questions that "Flowerpot" left in my comment section. I thought I would answer these while I wait for my kids to proof-read the post about them...

1) Cookies or cookie dough? Definitely fresh baked cookies right from the oven...you know the chewy in the middle, crisp on the outside kind.

2) Everyday: makeup or no makeup? Golly...this is kind of a funny question. I wear no make-up at home and I wear very little when I am running around town. But, I love to wear make-up to church and when going out with friends.

3) favorite Psalm?
Psalm 146
¹ Praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD, O my soul.² I will praise the LORD all my life;
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.
³ Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save.
⁴ When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
on that very day their plans come to nothing.
⁵ Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God,
⁶ the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them—
the LORD, who remains faithful forever.
⁷ He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry.
The LORD sets prisoners free,
⁸ the LORD gives sight to the blind, the LORD lifts up those who are bowed down,
the LORD loves the righteous.
⁹ The LORD watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow,
but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.
¹⁰ The LORD reigns forever, your God, O Zion, for all generations.
Praise the LORD.

4) How do you motivate your kids to obedience and responsibility? I am into using "natural consequences" as a tool to motivate. Not into grounding a child or time-outs. Natural consequences are so a part of our world as adults that I see it as a great tool in training my kids toward adulthood. The negative? It takes thought and being consistent.
**Rebecca asked to give an example of a natural consequence. Let's say that one of my children decides to disobey me. He decides that he would rather play around and take his time completing a job that was given to him. The natural consequence is the extra time it took for him to complete the job means he doesn't get to play with his friends for that same amount of time but rather complete an extra job. The thing is you have to explain this to the child so that they see the reasoning behind the consequence. It is also important to note that you, as the parent, need to make sure that you are reasonable and not whimpy or authoritarian in nature. Hope this helps.

5) Hobbies? Cooking, knitting, and traveling.

6) If you wrote a letter to the Heather of 25 years ago, what would you say? You foolish girl...you are seeking after the pleasures of this world which will only lead to heartache, misery, and gluttony. Stop being a vessel that looks clean on the outside but is filthy, dirty on the inside. Do not accept the "love" that is offered so freely by this world but instead allow God's love to fulfill your needs. In the end, if you choose God's way, you will have no regrets.

7) Favorite ice cream/dessert? Tiramisu Gelato...I ate it daily while in Italy. Hard to find good gelato in the states. I really like a good Creme Brulee also.

8) Do you prefer solitude or a party full of friends? My preference would be to spend time with one or two close friends...friends that you know so well that there is no awkwardness when quiet and yet great conversation all other times.

9) Ah-ha moments in your relationship with God? When I realized the full extent of God's sovereignty. The more you understand God's sovereignty the more you understand how great is His mercy and grace in your life.

10) What struggles do you face in raising African children in the culture of USA? I can't think of any struggles. In light of the culture around us I raise my adopted children as I did my own bio children.

11) Worrier or laid back? Laid back in most situations. I have moments though...

12) Nuts in your brownies or plain? Plain please.
~Heather

Oh My!

Well, I spent some of my weekend reading all of the emails that I received.
Um...there were a lot of them!
I truly am overwhelmed by your testimonies and gracious comments.
God is good...He truly deserves all the praise since all I am doing is writing about
what He is doing in my life.

I had to make a list of all the great ideas that you sent my way!
I have quite a few posts to write now...I thank you all very much.
If you wrote to me via email I hope you will forgive me that I have not answered you yet. It will take me a few days to reply to them all.

First, I must tell you about an interesting conversation I had with one of Eric's friends yesterday at church. He was asking how I was doing. But, he just wouldn't let me say fine. He just kept looking me in the eyes and saying "No, I want to know how you really are.". Ugh! I truly am doing fine. I miss Eric but I am incredibly blessed. The problem? Reflecting on what God is doing in my life usually leads to tears. I am so grateful for His kindness towards me.
Anyway, I was telling him how I have had to "reinvent" myself in a way. He listened to what I had to say but then added that really my family and I are living like we use to. Yeah, my hair has changed like other external elements of our lives but we are living in the same manner. That is because our "new" family is a reflection of Eric. He is not here but you can see him in nearly everything we do. The choices we make, the way we serve, the active lifestyle we live are all Eric. I am Heather but my life was affected by Eric...you can't live with someone for twenty plus years without them rubbing off on you.
As we were talking I had one of those epiphany moments...isn't that what we should be as a believer? We should always be a reflection of Christ in every circumstance. If we truly choose to live as Christ then our lives are going to spill out everything Christ-like. What a great word picture for my kids....and for me.

One of the questions asked was from a few friends who wanted to know more about our trip and where we would be going.
I have two children that will be leaving the house soon so I am taking the opportunity to travel across the U.S. with all six children one last time. We will be gone for two months and will see some of the great sites of our country including Washington D.C.
I would love to give you more insight but I also feel the need to protect my family.
Since this blog is open to anyone to read it leaves us rather vulnerable.
So, I will not be posting my itinerary on this blog
but will continue to post as I did on our last trip....
giving you details after we have left the place.

We are getting so excited as we make our plans and reservations.
The planning part of all this has been rather tricky and time consuming as I try to figure out logistically how to accomplish all that we have on our wish list of places to see. We are hitting quite a few major cities on this trip which is adding to the excitement. I mean, come on, how many of you would love the thrill of taking six children into a major city using the local transit? For me it is all in the adventure!
I would love to know that you are praying for us. If my maps and excel spread sheets are all right, we will be on the road for about 8,000 miles! Crazy! That many miles could present a lot of road hazards, bad weather, and auto break downs. We survived a transmission failure, vapor lock, and a blown tire last trip. We are hoping for no such problems this time around.

The most frequently asked question was "How are the children?".
That will be my next post.
~Heather