Legacy

Exactly one year ago today I slept in till 10:00. A rare occurrence. Eric let me sleep in because the nights had been rough; waking up a couple of times to pound him on the back so that he could breathe. I missed a coffee date with Kendra and almost missed the annual library sale.
Exactly one year ago today I had a wonderful conversation with Eric while at the library sale. He called to ask if I was having any luck finding what I needed for our bookshelves. He also talked about the sweet lady that he had just dropped off for her kidney dialysis.
Exactly one year ago today I gave my husband one last hug and he gave me one last kiss. I watched him walk out the door and get into his truck....like I did just about every time he left for work. I had no idea that my life was going to change so drastically. I had no idea that within an hour of his leaving our home I would get a call from Daisy saying that her daddy was having trouble breathing.
Within the next half hour I talked to a mother who decided to stay with Daisy until the authorities got there. I also talked to a Fire Chief, a Paramedic, the Detective that took care of Daisy, a Chaplain, and a very compassionate Emergency Doctor.
I remember squatting next to him in the ER kissing his hand, completely amazed at the circumstances that I was finding myself in. When they rushed me out of the ER room I remember standing in the hall, actually crumbling in the hall, when it hit me that my husband was possibly dead.

Today I took the kids to the cemetery. As we were standing there I explained to the kids that the stone marker just signifies that Eric lived on this planet. Eric's legacy was an eternal investment. He invested his time in his family, his church, and the people that God brought into his life. While the stock market has had its ups and downs and the economy is taking a turn for the worse, maybe we as believers need to be reminded that loving the unlovely and using our resources (time and money) to spread the Gospel is by far the greatest investment we can make. It is a legacy that speaks louder than anything that can be carved into a grave stone.

On January 29th of 2008 we said a final good-bye to Eric: husband, daddy, son, brother, friend. We are taking a break from normal life this next week. I am even taking a break from my computer. I plan on spending a week away just relaxing and enjoying what the Lord has given me...six incredible blessings.
So, in a week I will post some fun pics and get back to blogging. Until then, I appreciate your prayers for our family.

***As I read back over this post I can tell that my brain was not fully engaged. Or, possibly it was that I had too much running through my brain and didn't know how to form the thoughts coherently. In either case I realized that there was a beautiful moment yesterday that I completely forgot to mention in this blog.
On our way home from the cemetery we were blessed with a beautiful rainbow. It was one of the most complete rainbows I have ever seen. I know that this symbol was all about a promise that God made to His creation that He would never flood the whole earth again. But, for me it was a reminder that the God who created that same rainbow is still on His throne. He still commands the rainbow to show forth its beauty and He still reminds us, thousands of years later, of His incredible covenants that He has made with us.

As the rainbow was hanging in the sky the radio played
"God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He's painting
God is God and I am man
So I'll never understand it all
for only God is God"
(Steven Curtis Chapman)

My day was filled with tears and joy. Mixed blessings.
This morning though? A sweet flood of mercy filled my soul.
God is God and I am content to not understand it all.


~Heather